February 23, 2017

Top 10 WallMojis

This blog post is a total puff piece. Just letting you know in advance.

In case you missed it, earlier this month John Wall released his own line of emojis (called WallMojis) for use on your phone, tablet and whatever other devices you use emojis on. At the low low low price of $1.99 for this tool on iTunes, you know I had to buy it as soon as I saw it on John Wall's Twitter feed right before I sat down to watch All-Star Saturday Night this past weekend. Now I've got a whole series of John Wall graphics to use in my tweets for the Wizards end of season and postseason run.

I don't know what it is with me and Top 10 lists this week. Yesterday I posted my Top 10 Wizards ever list; I thought why not match it with a Top 10 WallMojis list (and I know there are more than 10; think of them as categories). So here goes. My definitive guide to the best of the WallMojis app. The complete menu of 'mojis is shown above. And yes, I'm making up names for these things.

10. John Wall Laser Beam Eyes
There are a whole series of John Wall heads on the WallMoji app. This is my second favorite. I assume John has laser beam eyes (a la Cyclops from the X-Men) and not some torrential waterfall streaming from his eyeballs. No idea when I'm going to use this one but, hey, you never know.

9. Sittin' On The Steps Of The Plane
I'm humming Otis Redding's (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay as I write this. I have no idea why this WallMoji exists. What is John doing? Who sits on the fold down steps of an airplane and just kicks back wearing an All-Star hat? Can't imagine I'm rolling this one out sometime soon but you never know, right?

8. John Wall DC3
DC3s are raining down in Verizon Center and anywhere else the Wizards are playing this year and John Wall's the reason. He's definitely going to make rainmaker Otto Porter rich at the end of the year, just like he did with Martell Webster and Trevor Ariza and just like he could do with Bojan Bogdanovic. I swear these guys need to kick back some of their salary to John. Use these WallMojis when JW or anyone else bombs from deep.

7. John Wall Screaming
John's been doing a lot of screaming (and flexing) this year and he's doing more of it as the season's progressed and the Wizards have gotten better and better. Use the head or torso and head WallMoji as appropriate.

6. Are You Not Entertained?
Verizon Center's been everything from completely dead to (almost) completely electric. John is the biggest on court cheerleader to get the crowd fired up. Use this just like John would when timeouts are called and the Wiz are rolling.

5. Dunk Contest Champion
In his first ever Slam Dunk Contest on All-Star Weekend three years ago, John became the first Wizard (or Bullet) to ever win the whole thing. And he did it with one dunk. Before this year, most people thought the 2014 version of the Contest was the worst ever. Maybe not so much after this year's debacle. Doesn't matter either way. A win's a win. It's not John's fault that someone messed up the format big time in '14. Roll these out each and every All-Star Weekend. By the way, it's my opinion GRIII just copied John's 2014 dunk twice to win this year's contest.

4. Wizards Home Jersey
Just because this is the best jersey in the NBA, home or away. Hands down. No question. Suitable for everyday use.

3. John Wall Family Foundation
Because sometime there are more important things in life than what happens on the court. Last year, John won the NBA's Community Assist Award for his social involvement in the D.C. area and elsewhere. He's the most visible Wizard in terms of giving back. This was a league wide award folks, not just a local one. There are two other JWFF WallMojis; I'm just showing two.

Two years ago, John was named to the All-Defensive Second Team. Give me a choice of any point guard in the NBA to anchor my defense and I'm taking John. When G-Wiz is pounding that drum, tweet this WallMoji.

1. John Wall Passing
Why is John passing the best of all the WallMojis? Because passing is what the best point guards in the NBA do. And in my opinion, John is the best in the league. Fun fact here: on February 1, Kyrie Irving doled out a career high 14 assists in a single game. At that point in the season, John had 14 or more in a game eight times. Point guards pass the ball. Just saying.

I know what you are thinking and it's probably "Dude, you just wasted $1.99 and about an hour of your time." Well, we'll see what you think when I'm tweeting out WallMojis during the game on Sunday. And any game thereafter if I choose to do so. All dedicated Wizards fans who tweet should drop a couple of bucks (minus the penny) on this app. You don't want to be left out after all.

Epilogue (although not really): Can I nitpick? I do have an issue with two of the WallMojis.

First, there's on WallMoji that shows the back of John's road jersey with the old horizontal white stripe on it. Now, it could well be that this is intended to show the Wizards 2011-2012 kit, but the white stripe hasn't been on the back for years.

Second, there's a John Wall Dunking WallMoji (at least I assume he's dunking) that shows him with the ball in his right hand. I don't think this is correct. Not saying John can't dunk with his right hand, just that he usually doesn't, something I chided Reggie Miller via Twitter for implying on the Wizards - Knicks broadcast way back on January 19. I'd have my guys fix this one at least if I was John.

Go grab these WallMojis, Wiz fans! Otherwise you will be missing out on the fun I'll be having the last half of this season. Back to less puff-y posts with the next one I promise.

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