Whose Signature Is That?

Last week I wrote my second to last Wizards blog post of the 2018-2019 season. Just like last year, I'm taking the summer off, although I will likely blog about the schedule when it's released rather that in September like I did last year. For now, I'm bullish on this coming season after what I see as a positive draft. Since my draft optimism stems mostly from the fact that the Wizards actually acknowledged that drafting in the second round is a good thing, there's tons of room for my euphoria to fully deflate before opening night. And it will. Pretty much can guarantee that free agency will do that.

Last week's blog post concerned the Sixth Man Referral program offered by the Wizards, a rewards benefit for current season ticket holders to refer new season ticket holders to the team. One of the gifts I received for my referral was a Wizards team autographed basketball, which now sits in the back of my closet on display surrounded by pictures of family, various power cords for phones and things and my bottles of prescription drugs (hey, I'm old and my diet hasn't been that healthy earlier in life!). I graded this reward as a C- for a couple of reasons. First, there are only 11 signatures on the thing. I know the Wizards tried to keep as few people on the team to avoid sniffing any sort of luxury tax but I don't believe you can carry fewer than 13 on a team so where are the other three? Second, some of these signatures are completely unintelligible. 

I'm hoping one of the half dozen or so people who occasionally read this blog can help me identify some of these. Here goes...let's start with the ones I can figure out before we move to those I need help with.

So this one is clearly Dwight Howard. It's a little lazy; just a large D with a 21. I guess these guys do have a lot of stuff to sign. Economizing is good.

Next up: Thomas Bryant. Very obvious T Bryant going on here with his #13 after it. Well done!

Then the rookie Troy Brown. Less legible than Thomas Bryant (the other TB) but there's clearly a T and B and his number 6 is fully understood.

Working our way down the ball...Kelly Oubre is the next one I find. I love Kelly's signature. Very well thought out and ready for use as a branding label (I would expect nothing else from this guy): a KO with the 12 inside the O. Good stuff!

On the same panel of the ball is Bradley Beal. Brad's signature has been the same since he got drafted. It's a little messy here so maybe I got the end of Brad's signing session but it's clearly "B Beal 3".

Now I need some help.

On the bottom of the ball, I have a clear Jason Smith autograph. Jason's helping me out immensely with a clear 14 next to his signature. I'm stumped on the other one. Assuming I'm looking at the beginning of last season (Jason Smith was traded mid-season so I think that's a good assumption) and I'm throwing away guys in training camp who didn't make the squad (not necessarily a good assumption), then I'm looking at John Wall, Otto Porter, Jeff Green, Tomas Satoransky, Markieff Morris, Austin Rivers,  Ian Mahinmi, Chasson Randle, Devin Robinson and Jordan McRae as possibilities. I cannot make the squiggle next to Jason Smith's name into any of these.

Next three...I got nothing here either. Maybe the one in the middle of these three is Tomas Satoransky? I can't begin to even explain which way up the other two signatures go.

Last one. I have no freaking clue. I looks like it's partially cut off, like whoever was signing was holding a piece of paper over the panel when they were writing and some of the signature ended up on the paper.

I'd appreciate any help. Also, if anyone out there wants this thing let me know. I own about 10 or 12 basketballs signed by various current and former Wizards. This one's not likely to make it to next season. Hopefully I will. Have a good summer everyone. Let's hope somehow Tommy Sheppard can make gold out of lead this free agency period.

Who To Boo

About a decade ago, Washington Wizards fans were pioneers. Before Boston fans, Detroit fans or any other team's fans booed LeBron James, me and my fellow home team fans at Verizon Center booed LeBron mercilessly every time he touched the ball. Without exception. And what did this get us? A 12-7 regular season home record against LeBron's teams over the last ten years. Yes, I know LeBron didn't play in all those games and the playoff record was just 1-4 over that span but the point is the crowd was into it in a serious way. Wizards fans were worked up into a frenzy for those games and the relentless booing paid off big time.

Now lately I've noticed a disturbing trend. Last year I booed LeBron every time he touched the ball in the one game he participated in at VC but the most of the folks sitting around me remained quiet. What the heck is going on here? Do we care anymore about booing the opponents? The answer there of course is maybe not. John Wall got booed at the free throw line during the Los Angeles Lakers' annual trip to Verizon Center last year and hometown former hero Kevin Durant disparaged Washington's fans for their lack of support for the home team before blowing the Wizards off completely in the offseason.

Well I've had enough and so should every self-respecting Wizards fan (but especially the season ticket holders) out there. We need to show up and we need to be loud. I'm not talking piped-in-crowd-noise-in-Miami-or-Boston-loud. I mean LOUD!!!!! Like DeShawn-Stevenson-Soulja-Boy loud. And when I say show up, I mean SHOW UP. I mean don't blow off Tuesday games against Milwaukee because you've had a tough day at work and don't sell your Warriors tickets because you can make a quick buck. Get your butts in some seats and yell.

So here's my proposal: let's pick one guy on the opposing team for the big games (meaning those that are likely to have "fans" of the other team show up) and boo him every time he touches the ball. All of us. Together. Whether the Wizards are ahead or behind. Pour all your frustrations, love of the Wizards or whatever else you need to into making as much noise as possible when that one player touches the ball for whatever amount of time. Come on, Wizards fans. I know you can do this. After all, by concentrating on one villain, this is the only way we seem to have made a bunch of noise in the past.

Our home opener is one week from tomorrow night. In the interest of getting a coordinated effort going here, below are my proposed booees for the big games this season. We have to start out hot this year and we have to throw all our support behind this team from the home opener. Please. When the guys listed below touch the ball, boo like your lives depend on it. And yes, I thought about listing a target booee for the home opener against the Toronto Raptors but I figured (a) nobody really cares that much about any of the Raps' players to boo heartily (plus the last time we played really important basketball against Toronto it was a playoff sweep) and (b) if our crowd can't make a little noise for the opener, we are in real trouble crowd-wise.

Friday, November 4 / Wednesday March 22: Atlanta Hawks (Home Games 2 & 38)

Who: Dwight Howard

Is there any more fun guy to boo than Dwight Howard? Not for my money, there isn't. Dwight's a guy who behaves in a way to make absolutely nobody like him and seems to get upset any time anyone doesn't love him. He's a complicated guy for sure. And an easy target for some booing. And let's face it, there's nobody else on the Hawks even remotely unlikeable now that playoff Wizard killer Al Horford has bolted Atlanta. We'll get to Horford. Quickly. Let's let Dwight know that we don't like him in Washington. Let's hurt his feelings enough that he going to devolve into a passive player on the offensive end and an even worse free throw shooter than he is usually.

Monday, November 7: Houston Rockets (Home Game 3)

Who: James Harden

There's something really offensive about Harden's game to me. Yes, he can fill it up like almost every game but his absolute refusal to play any sort of defense (and this is not a hyperbole, he literally just refuses to pay any sort of attention) and his incessant flopping drive me absolutely crazy. The fact that Harden actually got somewhat offended by his not winning the 2014-15 NBA MVP award is amazing to me. So of course, I love to boo James Harden because yes, he's good at some parts of the game but he sees that part of his game as his only responsibility to the game and his teammates. There should be some trash talking to go with this one from folks sitting closer to the court than I do. Need to get on Harden for the embarrassment that he is on the defensive end.

Wednesday, November 9 / Tuesday, January 24: Boston Celtics (Home Games 4 &  25)

Who: Al Horford

Why do we dis-like Al Horford, a dude that has been singularly unremarkable from an opponent fan hating perspective his entire career? Well quite simply because he told the world (just like Kevin Durant and don't worry we'll get to Mr. DC very soon) that Wizards fans, the people sitting in the stands at Verizon Center, suck. 

Now if that's not an affront enough to Wizards fans sitting in Verizon Center every game, I don't know what is. This is bulletin board material, folks. The Celtics (yes, Jae Crowder I'm looking at you) think they own the Wizards because they swept us last year. Let's prove that wrong this year, Wizards fans. Yes, I get that the Cs seemingly put as many fans in seats at VC as the Wizards do but come on, we know that's not true. Get upset a bit here folks. Let's make Al Horford feel hated like he never has before. Put two hands tougher and booooooo!!!!!

Friday, November 11 / Monday, February 6: Cleveland Cavaliers (Home Games 5 & 29)

Who: LeBron James

If you are a Wizards fan and don't know why you need to boo LeBron James when he's in Verizon Center, then you are not a Wizards fan. Enough said here. Let's move on.

Monday, November 28: Sacramento Kings (Home Game 10)

DeMarcus Cousins

I know what you are thinking here. Why should I as a Wizards season ticket holder be concerned about booing a team that is continually near the bottom of their conference and is arguably the most dysfunctional team in the entire league? Well quite honestly because we need every win we can get and on a list of guys most likely to get a technical foul, DeMarcus Cousins is about number one on that list. So why not try to goad him into one or two, right? I mean the booing can't hurt, which I think is sort of a point of this entire post.

Now if you really need a legit reason to hate DMC in this game, he got into it in the preseason with Kelly Oubre, Jr. when the two swapped an elbow exchange (not caught on film apparently). Just boo when Cousins touches the ball, would you?

Sunday, December 18: Los Angeles Clippers (Home Game #16)

Who: Blake Griffin

If Dwight Howard is the most fun guy to boo in the NBA, Blake Griffin might be the second. Both have a complex of sorts but whereas Dwight can't stand being not liked, Blake seems to object to everyone thinking he's a flopper and a crybaby. And let's make no mistake about it: he is for sure. He's whiny and petty and insistent on casting himself as a victim. And if you needed any other reason, let's not forget the 2011 Slam Dunk Contest. It's rare that I ever claim JaVale McGee is in the right but there's no way Blake beat Big Daddy Wookie in that dunk contest. Do this one for JaVale if you need that motivation.

Tuesday, January 10 / Friday, March 17: Chicago Bulls (Home Games 21 & 37)

Jimmy Butler

If there's a guy on this list that's about as uncontroversial as it gets, it's Al Horford. After that comes Jimmy Butler. I mean what's not to like about this guy's story? The absolute last first round pick in his draft class, a guy who made his reputation in the NBA on hawking defense who's now blossomed through hard work and dedication to be the two-way star on one of the most popular teams in the NBA? Well, because of the 2014 playoffs, I don't like Jimmy Butler. 

Yes, there may be other villains on the Bulls' roster worth jeering like Dwayne Wade (remember the Heat sweep of the Wizards in the second round in 2004?) and Rajon Rondo (the James Harden of assists), Jimmy Butler's my guy for this post. And if you don't remember, it was Butler who got off scott free while Nenê drew a one game suspension in the '14 playoffs. Didn't matter. We won that game anyway while Ted Leonsis led the chant of "Free Nenê!" in his number 42 jersey from the owners' seats. It's time to boo Butler on January 10 and March 17 (when I am sure Chicago will be sporting those obnoxious St. Patrick's Day unis).

Monday, February 13: Oklahoma City Thunder (Home Game 31)

Russell Westbrook

So I realize the last five or so years against the Thunder have been pretty good at Verizon Center. I mean who can forget Bradley Beal sinking that last second or so bucket against Oklahoma City in his rookie year? But the last couple of years? We've lost to the Thunder in Washington, including last year in embarrassing fashion. I mean we really stood no chance last year because Russell Westbrook bullied his way into a victory via 22 points (and a +23 overall) in just 27 minutes. Let's stop this nonsense this year and boo Westbrook into submission, please.

Tuesday, February 28: Golden State Warriors (Home Game 33)

Kevin Durant

First of all, let go of the image above. Like forever. It's photoshopped after all anyway.

This whole fan support controversy, if you can call it that, might have started with Kevin Durant. That's right. Tired of getting cheered in his hometown (God forbid), KD took a swing at the Verizon Center faithful before his trip here last season, calling us fans "disrespectful" for cheering him and saying "I wouldn't like it if I was on that team." Notwithstanding the fact that I and a whole bunch of other Wizards fans have NEVER rooted for an opponent in Verizon Center (the polite applause for former Wizards doesn't count), we did KD proud when he visited Washington last November and booed him off the court.

Now we have to do the same when he comes here with his new super team the Golden State Warriors. And I mean like really loud, guys. I thought Verizon Center made a good amount of noise when both eh Thunder and the Dubs came to town last year in support of the Wizards. Let's make our voices really heard this year by booing Kevin Durant mercilessly whenever he touches the ball. Let's make him feel respected as an opponent. And look, for those of you who plan on showing up to that game and rooting for the Warriors because somehow you've always been a Golden State fan or you "went to school with Steph" (I'm talking to the two dudes in front of us last year who happened to matriculate at Davidson while Curry was in school there) you didn't care about that team before a couple of years ago. So drop it. 

There are 13 games listed in this post. That's less than a third of the total home games this year. If we are serious about really having a home court advantage for our team, we have to do something this year other than let the one quarter of the arena's worth of Celtics or Cavaliers fans drown us out. If booing one person gets us there, I'm all for it. Let's show every one of the guys listed in this post what it means to visit Verizon Center and take on the Wizards. Maybe the next thing someone like Kevin Durant will say about our home crowd will be something positive. It's up to us, Wizards fans.

Apparently I Was Wrong

Only one day after I stated that we probably don't have to deal with paying attention to Dwight Howard's nonsense until mid-January, the Orlando Magic just went and traded him to the Los Angeles Lakers in a four team deal involving the Denver Nuggets and Philadelphia 76ers. Just one day! Shows how much I know, I guess. So what does this mean to me and the Washington Wizards? Five things, I think.

One: The 76ers sent away Andre Igoudala, one of the 85 small forwards on their roster, and got back Andrew Bynum. This instantly makes the Sixers a more complete team and a real contender in the Atlantic Division. I was hoping the Sixers had slipped backwards a little. There's no way that's the case now.

Two: The Nuggets acquiring Igoudala means JaVale McGee is no longer the highest paid player on their team. That seems right, especially since JaVale doesn't even start.

Three: The Magic losing Howard for three players, two of whom are on their rookie deals including one who hasn't played in an NBA game yet, means the Wizards now finally have a real shot at finishing second in the Southeast Division this year. Yep, that's right, I'm probably setting my own expectations waaaaaaay to high here (note I'm skipping over the Hawks here too). Don't worry, as a New York Jets fan the last 34 seasons and a Wizards season ticket holder the last 12, I have a lot to rely on to remain grounded on this issue.

Four: Lakers-Wizards games at Verizon Center are going to have even more Lakers fans-who-have-never-set-foot-in-California-let-alone-been-to-Los-Angeles in attendance. We'll have more people  around us in section 402 offering lame excuses for their Laker fan-dom like claiming they have either always been a Lakers fan "for some reason" or that they admire Kobe Bryant. Memo to all Lakers fans who show up to VC who aren't from LA: you like the Lakers because they win, and you'd rather root for a sure winner than show some backbone and actually follow a team you have some actual connection to for years. I might be bitter on this one, but it sure is sweet to watch the Wiz come back from a 20 point deficit in the third quarter to take the game while the Lakers "fans" around sit in stunned silence and mutter to themselves about still being a better team.

Five: If it comes down to a Lakers-Miami Heat NBA Finals, I'm actually going to have to root for Dwight Howard to win. Ugh! I'm not a fan of either Howard or LeBron James for the way they turned their backs on the fans of their former teams. I think both guys are completely disingenuous. But Howard hasn't scorched my team in the playoffs even once, let alone three times, so I can't root for LeBron's team ever. If it comes to that, I'll focus on rooting for former Wizard Antawn Jamison and tell myself that Jamison's classiness sort of counterbalances Howard. Looks like AJ will probably have some very real hope in pasting the picture of the Larry O'Brien trophy in his locker this year. I hope it doesn't come to this, but I fear it might.

After being so wrong yesterday, maybe I should write about other things I am sure won't happen just to see if they do. In closing then, I guess we'll never see Kevin Durant in a Wizards uniform any time soon. Hopefully I'll be up early Saturday morning retracting that statement as well. I won't set my alarm.