Merry Wizards-less Christmas!

When the NBA schedule was released this past August, it seemed like an affront to human decency that the Washington Wizards weren't granted a Christmas Day game. After all, the team got a spot on December 25 last year and is coming off two consecutive seasons in the second round of the NBA playoffs, one of only two such teams (along with the Los Angeles Clippers, of all teams) to make it past the first round each of the last two years. Surely this was a team on the rise and the NBA featuring the team on a national holiday would boost support among fans not already committed to the team (read: fair weather fans). Guess not!

To make matters worse for the Wizards faithful, three teams that didn't even make it to the postseason last year (the Miami Heat, the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Los Angeles Lakers) will appear on television tomorrow. What the heck is going on over at the NBA's front office up there in New York. Why the total disrespect for the Wizards? I get that the Thunder and Heat expect to return to postseason play this year with the return of injured players from last year (Chris Bosh for Miami and Kevin Durant for OKC), but the LAKERS?!?!?! This year's incarnation of the Lakers may actually end up doing worse than last year's historically bad Lakers team. The whole thing seemed like an outrage.

Well, as it turns out, two months into the regular season Wizards fans don't really have that much to be upset about. At least not in terms of not playing on Christmas, anyway. The league is not showing disrespect to the Wizards because I'm not sure they've shown they deserve any respect this year. Instead of the ascendancy of the Wiz to the top of the Southeast Division and one of the top spots in the Eastern Conference, pretty much the exact opposite has happened. The Wiz are mired in last place in the division (Miami, Atlanta, Charlotte and Orlando are battling it out for the top spot) and waaaaay down in the Conference behind a series of injuries, lackadaisical play and an abrupt backpedal on their commitment to defense. They aren't even in the playoff picture right now. It's a little bit of a disaster.

Now, lest you think I'm giving the league some credit for being right about the Wizards not being all that good through the season's first 30 games or so, think again. This is really all an accident. Sure the league put the Lakers on TV tomorrow because of Kobe Bryant and not how good they expected the team he's on to be, but I'm sure they expected the Houston Rockets to build on their Western Conference Finals appearance last season and tear up the league to start the 2015-2016 season. I'm also confident they wanted to feature a New Orleans Pelicans team on the rise fresh off their first postseason appearance as a re-named franchise behind future best player in the league Anthony Davis. Wrong on both counts. The Pels are the second worst team in the West (with a worse record even than the underperforming Wizards) and the Rockets launch this season didn't go as planned for the team or already departed head coach Kevin McHale. This stuff's all a crap shoot. 

I'm still annoyed about the Wizards not playing today, but I'm laughing at the league about the Rockets, Pelicans and of course the Lakers. I won't be glued to the screen tomorrow. I'll be able to help my mom make Christmas dinner and I won't be forced to look at those ugly ugly Christmas Day unis the league concocted this year. Although I'm still confused as to why there's a Wizards one (below) even though we aren't playing. This league will make anything as long as it stands a chance of selling and making a couple of bucks, I guess.

But I will be thankful that in an ironic twist, the league is giving LeBron James what he asked for two seasons ago: the Miami Heat playing at home on Christmas. Yep, a couple of years ago, LeBron complained about the Heat having to play on the road on December 25. It was LeBron's fourth (and as it turned out final) year in Miami and he'd played three of the four seasons there on the road on Christmas Day and he didn't feel that was right for a team that had made it to the NBA Finals the previous three years. 

So last year, the league made sure the Heat stayed home for the holidays. To make it even better, they were even so good as to make sure LeBron was in Miami when they sent his Cavaliers team down there that day. And in the continued spirit of giving, the NBA has let the Heat stay in south Florida this year for what has become an annual holiday game for that team. And LeBron, well he's on the road again. After all, who wants to be in Cleveland on Christmas. Be careful what you wish for. The Miami players are thanking you, I'm sure.

Merry Christmas, Wizards fans. The new year better bring better things for this team. Brooklyn up next on Boxing Day. Back home at VC for the Clips on Monday.

NBA Logo Rank, Part 4

Now things are getting good. Part four of my logo rank is peppered with some excellent graphic designs and for the first time, we actually see an entire family of logos with no missteps. Still some clunkers out there but the quality is greatly improved over part three. Let's see what we got.

12. New Orleans Pelicans

The New Orleans Pelicans are one of two franchises where three logos just wasn't enough. Oh no…for them there's a full five spot of logos to choose from. Some hit and some definitely miss wide of the mark by a good distance. But overall, there's more good than bad here. Let's start with the bad news.

I don't like the Pelicans primary logo (top left). I get that it's very New Orleans; I could see this thing gracing the front of some old paddleboat steaming up and down the Mississippi while a boatload (pun intended) of tourists check out the scenery on the banks and chow down on gumbo or red beans and rice. I appreciate the local flair but I don't like it as a basketball team logo. There's too much New Orleans and not enough hoops; I'd have killed myself for writing that in some other posts, right?

I also don't care for the Pels' fifth logo (bottom right), a weak "N"/"O"/basketball motif that somehow the Pelicans made available to themselves in four different color combinations.

Getting better, but still not there, I'm not crazy about the "NOLA" logo except I think it's more like a basketball logo than the two I have trashed so far. I really believe the Pelicans made some smart choices with their color scheme. Most logos would look good in the red, dark blue and gold colors they picked for their team. This one might have benefitted from the uni colors.

The last two logos, however, are strong to freaking awesome. I like the Pelican-de-lis a lot. It's completely New Orleans and concise enough to be a basketball centric logo at the same time. Don't get me wrong, it's no fleur-de-bee like the old Hornets had when they were in town, but I like it a lot. I especially like how the Pelican's beak forms the bottom spur of the fleur-de-lis.

And then there's the Crescent City Basketball logo, which I absolutely LOVE. New Orleans was originally laid out on a crescent shaped bend in the Mississippi River and acquired the nickname based on its early settlement patterns. This logo pays homage to that moniker and reflects a crescent shape a couple of times in the shadow on the basketball and the negative space above it. I think this logo is perfect for the city and those in the know about one of the city's other names.

So why only 12th? Well, I'm considering all logos here and the Pelicans' bad logos aren't enough to allow their good ones to soar. I've spent enough time here; let's move on.

11. Philadelphia 76ers

Oh, Philadelphia, you had it so right and you went and messed it up.

I LOVE the old 76ers logo. It's a basketball looked at almost straight on with that gorgeous "76" and the 13 original stars from the first Stars and Stripes floating above. It's graphically balanced and it's a perfect reflection of a basketball team named the 76ers. Admittedly, the old logo is much like the current primary logo (above left). But the old logo placed the ring of stars so it doesn't break the seam of the basketball. It's the small things in life sometimes. The Sixers used the old logo from 1977 to 1997 and brought it back just six years ago before tinkering. Should have left it alone.

Having said all that, the current logo is almost as good and I dare say I like the alternate logo on the right above just as much as the old logo that I love.

But Ben Franklin dribbling a basketball? This thing doesn't seem right, plus an 11 year old kid can't draw that. No way. I predict Ben will be shelved in the next few years. Heart's in the right place. I'm just not getting it.

Good show from the Sixers here. If they'd have left things alone they would have been top ten for sure.

10. Portland Trail Blazers

Of all the logos in the NBA, there has to be more confusion surrounding the Portland Trail Blazers logo than any other graphic representing a team. Let me explain why this logo is good enough for 10th in the league in this particular ranking.

Look at any other logo in the NBA and you could probably take a shot at guessing the team nickname. OK, maybe not the Magic but you would at least stand a chance of saying "oh, I get it!" when someone gave you the answer. And maybe not the Thunder either but after some cajoling and explaining, you might get it enough to beg off whatever Thunder fan was giving you a tutorial on the subject.

But the Blazers? The team that was named after the folks who moved out to Portland on the Oregon Trail. No way can you make sense of this. It didn't always look quite this way but it's close enough to the original to make a strong connection and the Blazers have stuck to this look in a totally unwavering fashion with the possible (and I mean very possible) inexcusable introduction of a less sensical secondary logo in 2002 that they killed four years later. Hooray for tradition!!!!

The reason the Portland Trail Blazers logo makes no sense is that it was generated from a when, not a what. And that's just the exact same reason it is so awesome. It's a design that signifies a modern (and by modern I mean 1970 when the Blazers entered the league) interpretation of the game of basketball. The five lines on each side of the center circle represent two teams of players working against each other in a game of hoops. Get it? It doesn't necessarily matter if you don't. I think it's so awesome that they commissioned this type of logo and stuck with it exclusively for 45 years. There's no other NBA logo like it. And there likely never will because there will likely never be another 1970.

9. Charlotte Hornets

The Hornets are another team (like the Pelicans) who can't seem to have enough logos. They actually have six but the other two not shown above are just variants of the primary logo on the left above.

I love pretty much everything about the Hornets re-brand. Anything in Charlotte (well, except a Raptors nickname) would have been an improvement over the dreadful Bobcats name. They could have just brought back the old friendly hornet from the late 1980s but I'm glad they didn't. I like the newer fiercer Hornets collection of logos better than the cuddly cartoon one.

Just like the Pelicans, I think this collection of logos is a bit of a mixed bag, although far superior to the Pels' choices. I like the primary logo. I think it's visually stunning on a first glance although I do think the appeal wears off over time. I'm not a fan of the second logo above (what I'll call the "Queen City" logo) which is very reminiscent of one of the old Bobcats' logos. I'm not knocking it just because it reminds me of the Bobcats; it's actually pretty awful other than the hexagonal shaped "C". I'm not sure if MJ told his re-branding firm to give him a discount if they could re-use one of the old Bobs' designs or what. Memo to the entire Hornets franchise: don't ever go back to anything even smacking of Bob Johnson's ego drive nickname.

But the last two logos on the right I really like. The hornet in profile looks dangerous in attack mode. It's dynamic and forceful and I love both the basketball in the hornet's venom filled belly and the fact that the hornet's attack stance makes an abstract "C". I also like the Buzz City logo inside the hexagonal hornet's nest cell shape, although I don't believe Charlotte is actually referred to as Buzz City except as the home of the Hornets. I still like it. I'd wear shirts with this logo on it.

8. Miami Heat

I hate the Miami Heat. I hate that they swept the Wizards 4-0 in the second round of the 2005 playoffs (long memory here) and I hate that they conspired to stack the deck against the rest of the league by teaming up LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to make four straight finals. If it wasn't for the state of Texas, they might have won all four. Ha ha by the way.

I love the Miami Heat's primary logo. It's only slightly different in color from the original 1988 logo and that's quite honestly because whoever designed this logo got it right the first time. You never need to change this logo, Miami. EVER! I've written about how difficult it is to represent abstract terms like Magic and Thunder in logos. The Heat have done it perfectly here with their nickname. It simultaneously represents their name, the concept of heat and references basketball by showing a shot from an "on fire" shooter dropping through the hoop. Yes, I know, there's no net.

So on that basis, the Heat should be like top one or two right? Well…no, because in 2008, the Heat decided to introduce the absolutely horrendous "MH" alternate logo. I don't even want to write about this thing. It's clunky, ugly and I hate the way the M and the H are merged. You are costing your team a top spot here, alternate logo.

7. Golden State Warriors

To this point in my countdown, there have been no teams who's set of logos I like across the board. The Warriors change that. 

In 1969, the San Francisco Warriors introduced a new circular logo showing the Golden Gate Bridge in silhouette with the words "The City" above the logo. The current Warriors logo introduced in 2010 is an updated more modern version of that logo and it's a killer design. It represents the Bay Area, reflects the tradition of the Warriors and is worn on their uniforms in a way that no other logo in the NBA is. I love it. And I think so do the majority of other people across the league. 

I also really like the other two logos introduced by the team as part of their re-brand. Yes, the "W" in a circle is pretty simple but it's straightforward and elegant. I love the California map logo also. I am generally in favor of putting maps in any sort of graphic representation. This one works especially well because the Warriors are (currently) named after the entire state of California.

So why aren't the Warriors higher? Well, it's because while I can enjoy each of the logos on its own and as a total collection, there's nothing that amazing about any logo except the primary logo.

The last six are next. In alphabetical order by city: Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls, Memphis Grizzlies, New York Knicks, San Antonio Spurs, Washington Wizards.

Beat The Heat!

Nine days ago, on a Friday night in south Florida, the Washington Wizards won their 19th game of the 2014-2015 NBA season by beating the home Miami Heat 105-103. 14 years ago, my first as a season ticket holder, the Wizards won 19 games all season. ALL SEASON!!! And no, it was not a strike or lockout shortened season; it was a full 82 games. In some ways, it's amazing I came back for more. The fact that the current Wizards won 19 before Christmas is in many ways a microcosm of how this franchise has grown over the past decade and a half. I think this team is without question the best the Wizards have fielded since I've been a die hard fan. The 19 win fiasco that was that first season was repeated by the way in 2008-2009. Not good.

About seven years ago, I started traveling to see the Wizards play on the road. It started in Minnesota in 2007 and continued as much on as off each year until last season, when I ramped my road trips up to two games, one in Philadelphia and one in Milwaukee. This year, I decided to travel to two away contests again. The game in Miami a week and a half ago was the second of my two trips this year.

Road games fill me with a certain amount of dread. There's something brash and cocky about walking into another team's building wearing the visitor's colors and applauding every good Wizards play and booing the home team. Other fans do it in our building in Washington and I hate it. And the absolutely last thing I want to have happen to me on vacation is to be mocked for being a Wizards fan after a loss to the home team. 

I assume most people around us at Verizon Center wearing Heat / Cavaliers / Thunder / take your pick of team shirts and jerseys are fair weather fans and I have to assume some road game fans view me the same way, although admittedly Washington Wizards fans or "fans" are still somewhat rare and I'm hoping the autographed Martell Webster jersey pegs me as a bit more than a bandwagonner. It's difficult to find Webster jerseys in Verizon Center; in fact, I don't believe I've ever seen another unless Martell is wearing it on court.

If you had told me before that Friday's game that Nenê and John Wall would tie for our leading scorers with 20 each; that Wall would tally 10 assists; that we would out rebound and shoot 14 more free throws than the Heat; and that both Chris Bosh and Josh McRoberts would miss the game, I would have relaxed significantly before tip off. On the other hand, if you told me that we would shoot 3-14 from three point range; give up 53.3% shooting and 103 points to the Heat; and that Rasual Butler would shoot only a single shot from downtown, I'd be really worried about showing up for the game at all.

The Wizards actually got off to a good start in Miami, unlike the following two games against Phoenix (loss) and Chicago (loss). While the first quarter was tight at 29-25, I felt that the Wizards would play their traditional ramping-up-the-defensive-pressure-as-the-game-goes-on game plan and we'd end up cruising to a victory. It certainly seemed that I was right when we jumped out to a good start in the second quarter, extending our lead  a couple of minutes into the second half before a Heat timeout.

And that's just when the Wizards relaxed and let the home team start to dictate the pace, like we allowed the Boston Celtics and Orlando Magic to do earlier this month. We got lucky against the Magic on a buzzer beater game winning alley oop pass from Andre Miller to Bradley Beal and managed to emerge with a one point double overtime win against the C's in Verizon Center after falling behind by seven in each extra period, but the sloppiness got us in the game in Boston and goes down as our only terrible loss so far.

From our corner seats near the top of the upper bowl at American Airlines Arena we could see perfectly the lack of defense being played in the lane as drive after drive from the Heat resulted in easy layups. On the other end, we could see equally perfectly the Wizards offense stick on the perimeter and the absolute refusal of most of our players to enter the wide open paint area possession after possession. With less than one quarter to go, the Wizards were still kicking, down only five, but showing little desire to win the game over a clearly crippled opponent.

Ultimately, our guys did manage to pull out the game behind a series of good plays from the largely absent for the first 46 minutes of the game Bradley Beal. Brad managed to hit four free throws in the last couple of minutes and his steal from Dwayne Wade sealed the deal, even if Wade did manage to hit a buzzer beating three as the final horn sounded. Too bad for the Heat that he needed four points, not three. Make no mistake, the Wizards won this game not because they played better than the Heat but because they have more talent. That's a strange sentence for me to write but it's true.

The Miami game was followed by two consecutive losses by the Wizards where they allowed easy lane penetration and focused on a perimeter shooting offense. Maybe they figured out what they were doing wrong after the Chicago game because the last two games against New York on Christmas Day and the Celtics two days later looked far more polished. Or maybe it's just that the Knicks and Boston are just terrible teams. We'll see how we fare this week in Texas before making any judgements I think.

One of the things I love most about traveling to away games is laying eyes on another arena. Most folks would likely argue that the amount of individuality in arenas where the sport is played on a standard sized court or rink or field is limited, unlike baseball stadiums where the dimensions of the playing field can vary from park to park. I wouldn't necessarily disagree with the argument that baseball offers the arena designer a ton more flexibility but I know from visiting a dozen or so NBA arenas that there is enough variation between buildings to make each new visit a voyage of discovery.

I've offered the opinion in past posts on this blog that of all the arenas I've visited in the last seven plus years that Verizon Center in D.C. is one of the more space limited arenas. Squashing a building suitable for playing basketball and hockey into Washington's city grid has left the Wizards a building with tight concourse spaces with little room for expansive lobbies like Banker's Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis or the types of historical displays about the team's history like they have at the Amway Center in Orlando.

The AmericanAirlines Arena in Miami definitely does not have the type of urban constraints we have in Washington. In fact, the building is probably the most gorgeously sited building in the NBA, right on the water facing the harbor where all the cruise ships are loaded up with passengers eager to spend a week or more packed into a mobile building which allows them to get away from home but not really see anything of the world. The siting of the building and the tropical climate allowed AAA's architects to effectively expand the lower concourse of the building to a plaza facing the water on the back side of the arena. I imagine it must be great to spend halftime outside with a drink during a late spring game.

On the city side of the arena, the front facade of the building is approached on foot up a huge staircase, which gives the building even more prominence relative to the street. The steps are a necessity here. There's no way the court could be located below grade in Florida, where the water table is a few feet or maybe even less below the surface of the ground. In the case of the AmericanAirlines Arena, the court is raised over the parking garage which makes the entrance to the arena that much more spectacular. 

Inside the walls of the arena, the place is less impressive than it is on the outside. The concourses are really wide in spots which allows a dizzying array of food vendors serving the 100 level of the building. There's no question the availability of different kinds of cuisine kills the selection at Verizon Center. There are Asian, barbeque, Latin (makes total sense), burgers, chicken and frozen yogurt and ice cream food options to choose from in addition to more standard Papa John's and popcorn vendors. The arena also reflects the city of Miami being a more liquor based town than Washington's beer based sports going fans. There are huge Grey Goose and Bacardi bars on either side of the arena in addition to several smaller Bacardi bars around the remainder of the building.

The only other comment I have on the AmericanAirlines Arena is that it exists solely for the Heat as a permanent tenant. The NHL's Florida Panthers play in Sunrise, Florida, a suburb of Fort Lauderdale about 35 miles north downtown Miami. As such the Heat can afford to deck the building out in red, yellow and orange and have a sort of flame design laid out in the seating areas, which is unfortunately all too visible during the games when the apathetic Heat fans show up late or not at all for a mid-December game against a division opponent that nobody in south Florida cares about.

I will say I was relatively impressed by the amount of passion displayed by the Heat fans. There were clearly a lot of fans in Heat apparel and I think I only saw one LeBron James jersey in my roamings around the building (just get a new jersey, dude). I also got booed by two of the arena staff for wearing Wizards colors and got sarcastically welcomed to the arena by a third staff member. During the game, the fans seemed to be making a lot of noise during critical parts of the game, although admittedly, it was difficult to tell over the piped in noise from the arena's sound system. I've never heard a building so loud after a relatively meaningless mid game jumper like Shawne Williams' two point basket in the second quarter.

I'm glad I made the trip down to Miami, especially after the blowout loss I attended earlier this season in Toronto. That's one more arena checked off my list and a lot more to go. Hey, maybe it would be a good idea to write about that in this blog. Maybe very soon.

Heat fans headed for the exits with a  little time left on the clock. Pretty satisfying after a poor game.

NBA Team Name Rank, Part 2

Two weeks ago, I posted Part 1 of a promised three part series about NBA team names. Gotta do something to keep my mind on the NBA in August. Here's Part 2.

Category Five: Not Relevant But Alliterative

I can just hear the cries of woe coming from Cleveland now. Yes, the next two nicknames are not relevant and are also incredibly boring, just like the Cavaliers. And yes, the Cavaliers name is alliterative and the Kings name is not. And why am I even separating boring non-alliterative names from boring alliterative names? All good points and questions, but it's my blog and the Cavs ain't going in the same category as the Wizards. No way, no how. And let's face it, nobody from Cleveland is likely to read this anyway.

20. Sacramento Kings

The NBA traces its history back to the 1946-1947 season when the league began life as the Basketball Association of America or BAA. By the start of the 1949-1950 season, the league had been re-named as the National Basketball Association and the Kings, or Rochester Royals, as they were named at that time, were aboard as part of the partial merger with the National Basketball League in 1948. Since they joined the now-NBA, the Kings have had more names than any other franchise except one, mostly due to their continual movement west. Their evolution starts with the Rochester Royals and continues as follows: Cincinnati Royals, Kansas City-Omaha Kings, Kansas City Kings and finally the Sacramento Kings.

As a nickname, the Kings is OK, sort of middle of the road but not relevant at all, especially since the Kings have never been Kings of the NBA (the Royals were once, in 1951). The Kings come in at number 20 only because their name used to be alliterative in Kansas City and to tweak folks in Cleveland. I'm not sure their original name, the Rochester Seagrams, named after the company they played for, would rank any higher on this list, although it's certainly less generic. Shaquille O'Neal famously referred to the franchise as the Sacramento Queens but we won't go there here.

19. Washington Wizards

I see the Wizards placing 19th on this list (as opposed to first on last year's mascot rank) as proof that my rankings on totally subjective NBA issues don't always favor my beloved D.C. hoops team, although placing them this high is probably a little bit of a homer pick. I just finished writing about how the Kings are the second most named franchise; the Wizards finish first in this category and they blow the Kings away in terms of nicknames. Not sure that's a good thing; I'm just saying.

The Wizards joined the NBA for the 1961-1962 season as the Chicago Packers. A year later, they changed their nickname to the Zephyrs. One year after that, they moved to Baltimore and re-named themselves the Baltimore Bullets (they were the second Baltimore Bullets franchise to exist). The year 1963 often appears on Wizards merchandise as the team's founding year, especially when Abe Pollin ran the team. From there, a little nickname stability kicked in, although the team moved. The team was re-named the Capital Bullets for the 1973-1974 season after a move to Landover, Maryland and a year later they became the Washington Bullets which stuck until 1997 when they became the Washington Wizards. Phew! Glad all that's over.

As a name, Wizards honestly is not very good. The name was chosen in one of those oh-so-brilliant public contests (see Milwaukee Bucks and Cleveland Cavalier in Part 1 of this ranking) that NBA franchises sometimes participate in and so something like Wizards was really to be expected. The name beat out Dragons, Express, Stallions and Sea Dogs. Honestly, I sort of feel lucky we ended up as the Wizards. At least it's alliterative. Let's move on.

Category Six: Relevant But Blah

So finally we are into franchise names that are relevant in their current locations (other than the Milwaukee Bucks which were covered in the first part of this series). From here on out, there's some good stuff and it gets better with each team. Unfortunately, the first two relevant team names are a little uninspired. The worst of the best, if you will.

18. Dallas Mavericks

So Texas has cowboys, right? And cowboys ride horses, right? And everyone loves cowboys, right? Well, maybe not everyone but enough to base a team name on, right? All that is true, but horses is sort of a weak name so Dallas decided to use the name Mavericks, which is really in the truest sense of the word a name for a stray cow. I'll give the Mavs the benefit of the doubt and say their name is relevant. But it's bottom of the barrel relevant.

17. Minnesota Timberwolves

Just like the Mavericks name is OK because there are horses in Texas, the Minnesota Timberwolves name is OK because there are wolves in Minnesota, although wolves are actually pretty darned fierce so the name qualifies on the intimidation / I'm afraid of the actual thing that you are named after scale. The team name (again) was the result of a public contest and Timberwolves beat out Polars (thank God!). Kudos for the Timberwolves for not adopting either of the city's two ABA franchise names, the Muskies or Pipers. Timberwolves is much better.

Category Seven: Singular Plurals / Weather Related

I hate singular team names; just don't like them at all. It's a personal preference but I've known other people who have felt the same way. Oddly enough, two of the NBA's singular team names are weather related. I'm not sure why, but since there's another sort of weather related team name out there, I've put all four of these into a single category. I just feel the need to categorize, I guess.

16. Orlando Magic

Take one guess how the Magic got their name? That's right, it was a contest, this one sponsored by the Orlando Sentinel. The name beat out Heat, Tropics and Juice. You have no idea how much I long for the Orlando Juice. Can you imagine how ridiculous a Juice home game would be against the Washington Sea Dogs or the Minnesota Polars. The juice would have to have orange uniforms, right?Anyway, as a nickname for Orlando, I guess the Magic name ain't bad. There is allegedly no connection to Disney World (aka the Magic Kingdom) but, come on...really? Who's kidding whom here?

Honestly, I got nothing here. How do you show a picture of thunder?

15. Oklahoma City Thunder

The Thunder popped up on the NBA nicknames list in 2008, when the team bolted Seattle and left the Supersonics name behind. Good move, here. The Supersonics, named after Seattle's proximity to Boeing's headquarters, doesn't work in Oklahoma. The name was chosen because of the vicious storms the state experiences yearly but also because the United States Army's 45th infantry division, also known as the Thunderbirds, resided in Oklahoma City from their founding in 1920 to their deactivation in 1968. That last part is really awesome, actually.

14. Miami Heat

I get it...Miami is hot. Hot = Heat. Cool!

I still think the Suns should change their mascot to the Jimmy Dean Sun. Just saying...

13. Phoenix Suns

The Suns finish at the top of this category, if only because they do not have a singular nickname, which I've already expressed some disdain for. Oh...and it's hot in Phoenix, just like it's hot in Miami. I guess the Sun is hotter than heat (although that could honestly be debated) and Phoenix is hotter than Miami so that works too.

Category Eight: Accidentally Relevant

Sometimes franchises move from one city to another, refuse to change their nickname and end up with a moniker that makes no sense for their current location (see Category Two in Part 1). Other teams get luckier. With no intent in mind, these franchises moved and somehow the names worked better than in their original cities.

12. Detroit Pistons

So the Pistons are named for the automotive industry that has been the calling card of Detroit for decades, right? Detroit is the "motor city" after all. Well, that's true but the Pistons name has nothing to do with Detroit. The Pistons were named after Fred Zollner's company, a Fort Wayne based outfit which happened to manufacture pistons for automobiles and trains. The team began play in the NBL way back in 1941, initially as the Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons, although by 1948 the Zollner part of the name was gone, shortened simply to the Fort Wayne Pistons. Zollner moved the team to Detroit in 1957 and impressively, gave the team name some thought. Ultimately, he decided the team name worked in Detroit, which it most certainly does.

11. Houston Rockets

OK, so we were wrong about intuitive thoughts on the Pistons name, but the Rockets have to be named  after Houston's prominent role in NASA's space flight programs going all the way back to the Mercury program, the program that featured the first American manned space flights, right? Ummm…no! Like the Pistons, the Rockets are transplants (this time from San Diego) who retained their original name because it just worked. The original name selection was based on the local (San Diego) development of the Atlas rocket; obviously the name worked even better in Houston. The Rockets beat out the Pistons for 11th in my ranking because they are just way more impressive. I'm not really confident I could draw a piston; I know I can draw a rocket.

So that's it. 11 through 20 done. Only the top ten remain. You'll have to wait a week for that.

Not One, Not Two, Not Three, Not Four...

I know this is hating. I don't care.

The 2013-2014 NBA season is over. Last night the San Antonio Spurs clinched their fifth title in franchise history by defeating the Miami Heat at home in game five for a 4-1 series win. The Spurs are still the only former ABA franchise to win an NBA title and their victory ends the two year title run of the Heat in spectacularly dominant fashion. The Spurs victory not only returns the Larry O'Brien Trophy to San Antonio for the first time in nine years, it also marks the first time since 2010 that no former Washington Wizard won an NBA Championship. The past three years have seen former Wizards Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood, Juwan Howard, Rashard Lewis, Mike Miller and DeShawn Stevenson capture titles post-Wizards.

Within 30 minutes of arriving at work this morning, I was congratulated by two people on the Spurs' victory. These were not passing comments. The first thing said to me by these two people was something along the lines of "Congratulations on the win last night." Now I have never been, am not now and likely will never be a San Antonio Spurs fan. But as a die-hard Wizards fan who suffered through back to back to back playoff exits at the hands of LeBron James when he played for the Cleveland Cavaliers, I guess I am known around my workplace as a guy with an axe to grind about King James. What can I say, I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to my team (as if writing my own blog wasn't proof enough).

I've written this before but it's not losing to the Cavs all those years ago that gets me riled up; it's the way they did it with LeBron. Instead of a humble, we haven't accomplished anything approach that the Spurs take year after year, there was whining, crying and complaining by LeBron in each of those three series. From engineering the ejections of Brendan Haywood and Darius Songaila by crying to the officials or the commissioner to non-called but later assessed flagrant 2 fouls on Andray Blatche to whispering in Gilbert Arenas' ear when he was about to shoot all important end of game free throws (now an automatic technical), LeBron never beat us with class. And I guess that's why I got some dap this morning when I started my workday.

I don't know what it is about LeBron that gets to me. Despite all the PR errors he's made over the years, there's always something with this guy and this year's finals were no exception. It's like he's always looking for some sort of excuse and it started in game one with the leg cramps. The AT&T Center that night had inoperable air conditioning and temperatures on the court were 90 degrees or above. There's no doubt that the players were feeling it more and more as the game went on. Tiago Splitter looked like he was about having a heart attack his face was so red. The Spurs won game one handily but LeBron wasn't on the court to see it. Of all the players in the building, only he cramped up to a degree that forced him to sit out the end of the game. There's no shame in sitting out the end of a game one blowout. Sit down, regroup and come back stronger in game two, which the Heat did. But don't make up some excuse for not re-entering the game. Please!

Game two in San Antonio was taken by the Heat and the series went to Miami tied up at one game each. But home court advantage was not kind to the Heat. Two games, two blowouts. Their D looked awful and Dwayne Wade in particular, all of 32 years old, looked way past his prime. There was no competition offered by the Heat in these two games and so no excuse was really offered for the losses. They were so completely destroyed by the Spurs that LeBron and Wade didn't even make fun of any of the Spurs' players like they did in 2011 with Dirk Nowitzski.

But before game five, it seemed like the swagger was back. LeBron talked about the fact that his team had "championship DNA" and that they play best when their backs are against the wall. I have news for you, LeBron: players that have lost three of five NBA Finals cannot use "championship DNA" as an inspiration. You may have two more championships than a lot of other players, but you don't have an exclusive license on them. If anyone has that sort of DNA, I think it should be the Spurs. You really only won two titles because you colluded with two fellow All-Stars to buck the system and tip the competitive balance in your favor. Ever since that night in Miami almost four years ago when the Heat held a party to introduce the signings of you, Chris Bosh and Wade, your backs have never been against the wall. You stacked the deck in your favor. You should really have won all four years. But you didn't.

By the middle of the fourth quarter of game five, it appeared the Heat had been beaten back almost completely. The Spurs held an almost 20 point lead and it seemed that it wouldn't be too much longer before the Heat would cry uncle and fold. But the game wasn't over. It is technically possible to come back from that lead. I've seen plenty of leads blown by the home team at Verizon Center over the last 14 years in the fourth quarter. But it seemed like LeBron wasn't interested; he sat out the last six minutes. I don't get it. There's no regrouping and fighting in game six. The season's over if you don't play. I guess he wasn't all that interested. Winners like LeBron I guess don't like losing. If he's not on the court, I guess he can claim he could have prevented the loss if only...

LeBron was the first Miami Heat player to reach the locker room last night. I'm not surprised. At least he learned to shake hands after the game since he refused to do so against the Orlando Magic in 2009. Now the question is, what do the Heat do next? There is speculation that LeBron, Wade and Bosh will all opt out of their contracts and restructure their deals to try to conspire again to tip the competitive balance in their favor even more next year by recruiting Carmelo Anthony. There is also speculation that LeBron will move on to another team with a better chance of winning. For my part, I don't much care what he does. I believe there is value in staying someplace and making it better. I've been at my job almost 15 years now through thick and some pretty thin years. It would have been much easier to bail and start over somewhere easier. But I'm proud of what I've accomplished by staying. I don't imagine LeBron will ever feel that way.

No matter where he lands next year, I'll be rooting against LeBron (please, Wizards, don't let LeBron decide to sign with us). If he leaves Miami, he leaves with unfulfilled promises. While I can't imagine the Heat fans that actually stick with the team care much since he already delivered two titles, LeBron actually promised them at least eight. Doesn't look like that's coming true any time soon. If he leaves, it never will. He even said it would be easy. Guess not. 

It's 32-0 now!

No Rivals

Last Sunday, the Washington Post Sunday Express featured a cover story questioning if the Washington Wizards had any true rival, rolling out the Redskins-Cowboys and Capitals-Penguins rivalries as examples of what the Wizards may be lacking. The article was based on an informal survey of game-going Wizards fans conducted by the author prior to the November 19 game against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Verizon Center. The most popular answer to the survey turned out to be the Cleveland Cavaliers, followed by the Miami Heat.

My answer, quoted in the article next to Trevor Ariza's opinion that all teams are our rivals, was nobody. That answer finished third. Sorry, Trevor, I like your thought but if you played for a team with a real rival, I don't think you would have given the same politically correct, non-bulletin board material answer. A rivalry in sports is based upon a genuine dislike of another team where each team beats the other with somewhat regularity in important situations. I don't think there is a team in the NBA that the Wizards beat regularly enough and dislike enough to legitimately claim rival status.

I believe true NBA rivalries are made in the post-season, not the regular season so that's why I answered the question as nobody. We haven't, after all, made the playoffs since 2008. Sure, the division title is important, especially when you haven't won one since 1979 like the Bullets/Wizards, but true rivalries come from repeated hard fought playoff encounters. The NBA realignment of 2004 killed most of the Wizards old time traditional division rivalries with the New York Knicks (based on history) and the Philadelphia 76ers (based on geography) anyway. Having the closest legitimate NBA franchise in your own division in Atlanta makes it difficult to maintain any sort of geographic rivalry.

When I think of some recent NBA rivalries, I think Celtics-Lakers, Pistons-Bulls, Bulls-Knicks, Knicks-Pacers and, this year, Pacers-Heat. There are more and my attention is naturally more often on the Eastern Conference, but all of those rivalries featured decidedly nasty playoff battles between the two teams. I'm already looking forward to an Indiana-Miami Eastern Conference Finals as the marquee series in this year's playoffs after the same matchup last year and the second round series two years ago. There's a genuine dislike between those two teams and I can't wait to see how the series ends this year, especially if Indiana can secure home court. And yes, I am conceding that no other team is getting to this series; it's a two horse race in the east this year, barring some catastrophic injuries to one team or the other.

I can understand the Cleveland Cavaliers as the top answer from Wizards fans and the Miami Heat finishing second. The three playoff series against the Cavs in three consecutive years was a rivalry despite LeBron James' arrogant claim that it wasn't. The Wizards beat the Cavs enough over those years and the boos were louder enough with genuine dislike to get under LeBron and his teammates' skins when they stepped into Verizon Center. And in the playoff years of 2005-2008 we tried to fight the Heat for the division crown and got swept out of the 2005 playoffs in the second round by that team.

I still to this day dislike those two teams more than any other in the NBA for knocking us out of the playoffs the way they did. Miami humiliating us in 2005 and Cleveland whining, complaining and ultimately beating us three years in a row from 2006-2008. I'd love for the Wizards to get another rivalry going. Hopefully this year can be the start of something in the first and maybe second round of the playoffs. Of course, we have to qualify first.

NBA Mascot Rank, Part 2

I know what you are thinking, Sly. I'd be pissed about the Knight too.

Last week I posted the first part of my NBA mascot rank, an all too detailed ranking of all things mascot in my favorite sports league. That countdown continues in this Part 2, which deals with mascots who are just barely making the minimum amount of effort to be a mascot or are confusingly relevant/irrelevant. We start in the northeast.

24: Lucky the Leprechaun, Boston Celtics

Of all the teams that actually have a mascot, the Celtics mascot, Lucky the Leprechaun, is the absolute worst and therefore ranks lowest of all the primary mascots in my countdown. Memo to the Celtics: dressing a guy in clothes with no mask, no fake fur or outrageous costume does not constitute a mascot. It's just a dude in a green costume and a sometimes beard.

All the tradition and pride that comes with the Celtics organization just isn't enough to compensate for this guy walking around looking for his pot of gold. He even appears in the media guide as the mascot. There's no illusion here and it's just no fun. Marginally better than having no mascot but hands down the worst primary mascot in the NBA. But not by much...

23: BrooklyKnight, Brooklyn Nets

Before the 2012-2013 NBA season, the Nets moved from New Jersey to Brooklyn in what was supposed to be some sort of glorious return to the city where they started some 40 plus years earlier as part of the now defunct ABA. As part of the move, the Nets rebranded their entire franchise, which included everything from their uniforms to their mascot.

When the team was located in New Jersey, the Nets' mascot was a silver fox, whatever that is. This has to be one of the more puzzling mascots of all time. When I think of the Nets franchise, whether it's in New Jersey or in New York, I do not think of a fox. I don't know how I would necessarily create a mascot to represent a team called the Nets, but a fox wouldn't spring to mind in any way. So when the Nets left Jersey after 35 seasons there, they understandably left Sly the Silver Fox to fend for himself in the swamps of northern New Jersey. They had to replace him with something more relevant and cool, right?

Wrong! Instead of a silver fox, the Nets' mascot last year was a knight. But not just a regular knight. The new Nets' mascot is a superhero sort of futuristic knight. Huh?? Yes, that's an appropriate reaction. Totally not relevant. I generally like what the Nets did in re-branding themselves. I think their black and white road unis are really cool (even if their homes look like some sort of upgraded junior high school gym clothes); I love the updated parquet floor; and I even think the name of their dance squad, the Brooklynettes, is really inventive. But I can't see the knight sticking around long. Brooklyn's supposed to be gritty, right? The knight's not.

22: Burnie, Miami Heat

Oh, God...really?!?! What on Earth is this thing?

How do I start to explain the Miami Heat mascot? It's an orange flame with a basketball nose and white hair? Yep, that's about it. I'm sincerely hoping the Heat got a discount for this thing. How did the advertising executives paid to come up with a mascot pitch this to the team? I can only imagine them saying what I said at the beginning of this paragraph in a very guilty sheepish way knowing that they cooked this thing up the morning after a South Beach bender in about 15 minutes. They must have gone straight back to the bar after selling this bill of goods for a celebration. At least they got a better name than the mascot itself. Burnie. Get it? It's a real name (Bernie) but also a fire reference ("Burn"-ie). Cool, right? Umm...maybe not. It's a commentary on how bad most mascots are that the Heat finish 22nd here.

21: Clutch the Rockets Bear, Houston Rockets

Clutch is the first of three consecutive mascots in my ranking that beg the question "What does that animal have to do with the city or franchise it represents?" And it's a legitimate question. I'm shaking my head here.

Clutch was invented after the Rockets won their first NBA Championship in 1994, a response to a headline in the Houston Chronicle earlier that postseason declaring Houston "Choke City" after the Rockets blew a game when up 20. So naturally after the team brought home the city's first NBA title, the impulse is to create a mascot to show those bastards over at the Chronicle, right? I get the nickname; it's not bad. But a bear? Do they even have bears in Houston?? And one that looks like this? It looks like a happier version of Ted from the movie of the same name. I don't understand it at all.

Sorry, Clutch, you may be in the now defunct Mascot Hall of Fame (a dubious distinction at best), but in my book you are good enough to finish one notch ahead of Burnie. Not doing it for me.

20: Boomer, Indiana Pacers

Next up in the animal-mascots-with-no-relevance-to-the-franchise-or-city category: Boomer the cat, the Indiana Pacers' mascot.

By all accounts, the Indiana Pacers were named either for Indiana's famous pacer horses or for the Indianapolis 500's pace car. So I'm thinking either race car or horse, right? Nope. The Pacers have a cat. OK, I admit, unlike bears in Houston, there are actually cats in Indiana. That's probably the only reason the Pacers finish ahead of the Rockets in this ranking.

But I think the Pacers really missed an opportunity for a double entendre mascot here a la the Cleveland Cavaliers mascot (just wait until next week). There was potential for something really clever here with a horse mascot. Instead, the cat misses the mark. Next!

19: Blaze the Trail Cat, Portland Trail Blazers

Another cat? Really?

The Portland Trail Blazers, in my opinion, have one of the coolest names in the NBA. The franchise is named for the settlers that came to Oregon via the Oregon Trail. Not a very obvious reference for the casual observer but what an awesome nickname.

I think the Trail Blazers were in a tough spot mascot-wise with this nickname which is probably why they finish one notch ahead of the Pacers with their non-relevant feline mascot. Much like the Nets, I have a difficult time imagining a mascot representing the team. Dressing someone up like a settler or a Conestoga wagon just doesn't seem to make any sense. They finish ahead of the Pacers here because they have a more difficult task so defaulting to a cat seems more forgivable.

But that name...I don't know. Boomer's not much better but "Blaze the Trail Cat"? Come on. The Blazers close out the bottom 40% in my ranking.