And Then There Was Shaq

When I visited Los Angeles last year for the Wizards' annual roadie with the hometown Clippers, I spent some time checking out the collection of statues in Star Plaza, the open pedestrian area just north of Staples Center, the place where the Clips play their home games in L.A. Because there are no Clippers legends worth erecting a statue of (or just that there are no Clippers legends period), I spent most of my time there photographing statues of legendary Lakers, the team that shares the building with the Clips.

When I got back from the west coast, I spent a few moments banging out a post on this blog describing what I'd found, namely statues of former Lakers players Jerry West, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Magic Johnson and their legendary broadcaster Chick Hearn in addition to glossing over the fact that Wayne Gretzky and Oscar De La Hoya also have bronze likenesses of themselves in that spot. Hey, it's a blog about being a Wizards fan, so basketball statues get preferential treatment over hockey players and boxers.

This year I had the good fortune of being out in Los Angeles for work in a week that the Wizards were in town to battle both of the basketball residents of Staples Center. When I got there I found one more statue. And of course it's a Laker, not a Clipper. Welcome Shaquille O'Neal to Star Plaza.

I guess there's a chance that some readers of this blog might not have known who Jerry West and Chick Hearn were. There's a slimmer chance (although I guess it still exists) that there are a handful of folks out there who are not completely familiar with the careers of Kareem and Magic. But if you don't know who Shaq is and you consider yourself an NBA fan, you have to be living under some kind of rock.

Shaq's time in Los Angeles was shorter than it probably could have been, relatively contentious and extremely successful. He played in Laker purple and gold for eight seasons from the 1996-1997 season through the 2003-2004 season. He was an All-Star every year he spent in Los Angeles except one (1999); won three consecutive NBA Championships from 2000 to 2002; was the NBA Finals MVP each of the three title years; and won his lone Most Valuable Player award (in 2000).

Ultimately, Shaq kind of wore out his welcome in Tinseltown and was shipped off to the Miami Heat before the 2004-2005 season, where he ended up winning another championship in 2006. The tipping point for the Lakers to trade the most dominant big man in the game for three players and a single first round draft pick was his relationship or lack thereof with the Lakers' other star, Kobe Bryant. Shaq was 32 when he was traded away from L.A.; Kobe was 25. Since the Lakers won two more titles after the trade, it's hard to argue that they did the wrong thing. But just think about what they could have done if they just could have gotten along.

The first six statues in Star Plaza are all planted firmly on the ground. Shaq's is not; it's hanging from the side of the building.

I honestly think Shaq's statue is in an awkward spot. Sure, it's right near the main entrance to the building but the fact that he's mounted right on an inside corner of the building makes it seem like he's sort of shoved into a spot that should be out of the way. Maybe it's the only place that could structurally support a statue that weighs that much but for me, it would be a way better spot visually if they would have slid him to the west a little and had him attached to the exterior corner of one of the terraces overlooking Star Plaza.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like he's difficult to miss. A statue the actual size of a man Shaq's size would have a presence; this one is bigger. 

It's pretty difficult to get a good photo of bronze Shaq without getting a lot of crotch (top photo) or butt (photo above) at the spot he's in but this thing has some impressive details. On each of the Star Plaza Lakers statues, there's a muted purple and gold uniform. Shaq's is a little less muted, which I think looks better and some of the details, like the Shaq logo on the sneakers, are pretty cool. I also like the basketball in motion as it's passing through the hoop Shaq is hanging off. 

I think this statue is well deserved. I just think they could have made it more pedestrian viewing friendly.

I don't expect that I'll be headed back to Los Angeles any time soon for my next Wizards game. Of course, I didn't expect to be here this year so you never know. But I'm willing to bet the next time I'm there, there will be a sixth Laker statue: Kobe Bryant. I'm predicting it will be remote from Shaq and that it will have a number 24 jersey (the one he won his last two titles in without Shaq) rather than a number 8 (first three titles). 

I'm also predicting that next time I'm in Star Plaza there still won't be any Clippers' statues.

Wizards have one more roadie tomorrow night before heading back to Verizon Center. Just two more weeks left in the season. Let's finish strong they keep it going for the playoffs.

Shaq hanging off the building while Wayne Gretzky waves to the fans.

L.A. Story

If you had told me last year after I watched the Washington Wizards take on the Los Angeles Clippers in California that I'd be back again after just one year, I'd have said you were crazy. But here I am writing this blog post after four days of work and the past two nights over at Staples Center watching my beloved Wizards take on not just the Clippers, but the Lakers as well. Two nights ago, I watched my team win their first division championship in my 17 year and counting run as a season ticket holder. Unfortunately, we couldn't pull out a second win in as many nights against the Clips on a night when defense was mysteriously absent in the first three quarters and Marcin Gortat and Otto Porter were mysteriously absent in the fourth quarter.

I can't remember the last time the Wizards played the Clippers and Lakers back to back in Los Angeles. It may actually have never happened. I loved it because I got to see the Wiz two nights in a row without having to move anywhere. I also loved it because the contrast between going to a game featuring the Lakers, who are very definitely one of the two most successful franchises in NBA history, rather than the Clippers, who are very much the upstart ugly stepsister of the pair, is interesting to see on back to back nights. There's a lot to compare and contrast there. I'm picking six things, because the best things in life come in six packs. Read on.

1. Ticket Prices

As of the end of last night's game, the Clippers are 45-31 and sitting in fifth place in the Western Conference. They've qualified for the postseason already and are very definitely in a fight with the Utah Jazz to secure home court advantage in the first round of the playoffs. The Lakers, on the other hand as of last night, are just 21-52 and are in last place in the Conference. They are already eliminated from the postseason but in some happy news for Lakers fans, they will not set a franchise lowest wins in a season mark for the third straight year.

Know whose tickets cost more on the secondary market? The Lakers for sure. I bought my tickets for both games on StubHub (whom I LOVE) and looked in the upper deck, the Premier level (the equivalent of Verizon Center's 200 level with a little extra), the lower level and the center three sections of the lower level. The cheapest ticket I could find in each of those sections for the Clippers game was $11.96, $57.20, $48.35 and $141.30 respectively. Prices for the Lakers game in those four spots were lows of $27.90, $36.32, $85.47 and $175.95. More expensive across the board except in the Premier seats, where I ended up sitting. As good as the Clips are, the Lakers are still the show.

2. Outside

On the north side of Staples Center there is a plaza which serves as the primary entrance to the arena. Scattered about the plaza near that entrance are a series of seven statues: one of Wayne Gretzky, one of Oscar De La Hoya, one of legendary Lakers broadcaster Chick Hearn and four of Lakers legends who brought the team championship contenders and NBA titles. The Lakers own the outside of Staples. There is very little signage hung on the building to suggest this is the home of the Lakers. They don't have to. Their former players are everywhere in bronze form.

So what happens before a Clippers game? Well, there's a very large banner hung from the roof and there's some kind of outdoor broadcast booth erected in Star Plaza (that's the name of the place; it's just missing Clippers' stars) in an in vain attempt to draw attention from their big brother Lakers. There's an obvious inferiority complex on display that wouldn't be there if they didn't share the facility with a way more successful team. There are no Wizards statues in front of Verizon Center. But there are also no other teams' statues mocking the lack of success of our franchise.

Ahh the harmony...

3. Fans

When I walked in Staples Center I was handed a program with the words "Remembering 1987" on the front, a reference to the 30 year anniversary of one of the Lakers' championship teams led by Magic Johnson and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It was both appropriate and sad. That team is worth celebrating but there's also nothing current to make any noise about if you are the Lakers. But I have to tell you, Lakers fans show up. Wearing Magic Johnson jerseys, Shaquille O'Neal jerseys and Kobe Bryant jerseys. They are living in the past because there's nothing good about the present but they are there in all their delusion about their team.

Clips fans? Well there are some but I'm not sure how much they believe. Sure there were a few Chris Paul jerseys, plenty of Blake Griffin jerseys and maybe one or two DeAndre Jordan jerseys but all the jerseys are shiny new. There's a feeling that folks are jumping on the bandwagon and they are hoping like heck that the Clips redeem them. I saw a number of Wizards shirts and jerseys at the Lakers game but there were (in my informal survey of the building) more Wiz fans on the second night vs. the Clippers. This is a fan base that wants to believe but doesn't feel confident about it. I guess that's better than being a just wanting to believe but knowing there's no hope Lakers fan.

4. The Banners

Gaze toward the west end (at least I think it's the west end) of Staples Center during a Lakers game and you'll see a lot of gold banners with purple stitching on them hanging above the upper level of seating, one for each of the 11 titles the team has won since they moved to Los Angeles in 1959 and one for the remaining five the team won in Minneapolis (which admittedly is not purple and gold but blue and gold). There are no division championship banners or conference championship banners; the additional 54 (!!!) banners that would be required for that display would just clutter up the building rafters. It's pretty impressive I have to say. Especially if you are a Clippers fan.

The night after I took a couple of pics of the Lakers' banners, I returned to Staples and took a similar photo of that end of the building during the Clippers game. All I can say is it's a good thing they can print large banners with the likenesses of players who have never won a championship or even made it to the Conference Finals. The Clippers made it their first 41 seasons in the league without winning a thing before winning a division title in years 42 and 43 (2013 and 2014). I thought they'd at least have those two hanging in the building but I guess I either couldn't find them or they are not there. Maybe there's a rule in the building if you don't win it all, you don't get to hang any laundry. If that's a rule, the Clips have to hate that one.

5. The Intros

So far in this post, I've dissed the Clippers pretty heavily. I think as a Wizards fan I have the chops (if that's the right word and I'm pretty sure it isn't) to do that. But if there's one spot the Clippers have the Lakers beat, it's in this department, but maybe not for the reason you expect.

If you are an NBA franchise, no matter how good or bad you are, it seems like you have to have a lights out (I mean that literally) special effects type video for the introductions of the starting lineups (this year the Wiz have three, one of which features Jason Smith playing Skee-ball which is the best thing ever). If you are good, these things can be awesome; if you are not, they seem a little silly. The Clips are good and their pyrotechnics and laser show let's get ready to rumble starting lineup intro is appropriately scaled. The Lakers are not good. Theirs is a bit sad.

I don't think I've seen a starting lineup announcement quite like the Lakers use. After they turn out the lights, they drop two enormous curtains from the scoreboard to form a cylinder of fabric on which they project way larger than life images of their star players and blast music to get the crowd fired up. And by "star players" I mean Nick Young, D'Angelo Russell, Jordan Clarkson, Larry Nance, Jr. etc. etc. Sort of a lot of fuss for those guys, right? I know I've made fun of the Clippers for being historically bad in this post, but they win this one.

6. The Game

Celebrating the Clippers in this post is short lived. I've only made it to about half the arenas in the NBA but if there are two franchises which get game lighting right, it's the New York Knicks and the Los Angeles Lakers.

When I go to a basketball game, I want the focus squarely on the court, not on the crowd. I want the playing surface lit brilliantly like a Broadway musical or a movie stage set. I don't care how good the team hosting the game is (and let's face it the Knicks and Lakers are awful), you ought to light the building like you mean it. That means the court brilliantly lit up and the stands dark to make the lighting on the court that much more bright by contrast. They get this in New York and they get this in Lakerland. The bright lights make the court and the jerseys of the two teams stand out so theatrically, I don't understand why all arenas don't do this. Sure it makes it difficult to see your cup holder when you are done taking a swig of your beer but who cares? It's what's on the court that counts.

The Clippers don't get this. Nor do the Wizards and many many many other NBA franchises. At a Lakers game you can't see the crowd; at a Clippers game, you can. And there's nothing wrong with the way the Clips do it until you take in a Lakers game. It's almost like they are doing it differently to just be different without realizing that the value is so much less. Actually, that would be historical Clippers to a tee.

DeAndre, Jamal, Blake, J.J. and Chris. Those guys or banners. Take your pick.

I'm disappointed that I've seen the Wizards lose twice in a row to the Clippers in Los Angeles but I'm for sure not disappointed in any way that I leveraged a work assignment to get out here twice in one week to see the Wiz take on Los Angeles' finest (and not finest I guess). Traveling to new places or places you have been before enriches life's experiences. I wouldn't have missed the Wizards clinching their first division title since 1979 for the world, and I'm glad things came together so I could see them do it in person in L.A. I feel I deserved that experience, no matter where it happened and I feel lucky that I was in the right place at the right time.

There's one other story worth telling here. Before the Lakers game the first night, I had my cab driver drop me off at El Cholo on Flower Street just a couple of blocks from Staples. El Cholo was the joint that introduced nachos to Los Angeles (and perhaps the entire United States by extension) in 1959. Over a plate of Carmen's Nachos I met my new friend Clem and we spent 30 minutes or so talking hoops, from Lonzo Ball (Clem thinks his dad talks to much and he's right) to west coast vs. east coast in the NCAA final four (I'm pulling for South Carolina; Clem wants Gonzaga or Oregon) to this year's NBA MVP (Clem's looking at Russell Westbrook; I hope I convinced him James Harden is first followed by John Wall).

I love random encounters with basketball fans. Clem bought Lakers season tickets some years ago with some friends and had them for a few seasons but really loves all sports. I know I talked with this guy for just half an hour in my life but I wish him the best. And I'm glad his Lakers lost to my Wizards. And I'm sure I'd be happy for him if his team beat mine and won their first championship (yes, I know it's JUST a division) in 38 years. Can't we just all get along? Going home tomorrow late. Go Wizards.

Jordan (the wrong one), Wall, dude with a Wizards hat and Jordan (the right one but only just).

Jerry, Kareem, Magic & Chick

Last weekend I was in Los Angeles for a quick trip out of town centered around my beloved but beleaguered Washington Wizards taking on the Los Angeles Clippers at Staples Center in downtown L.A. Given the way this season has gone, the Wizards lost of course but that's not what I'm writing about now.

On the north side of Staples Center, just between the building and Chick Hearn Court (the road immediately to the north), there's a small plaza (called Star Plaza) which allows people to gather while waiting to enter the building. It's a great idea from a crowd control and safety standpoint: it allows folks to stand off the street before the game while also keeping the sidewalks clear and it lets those same people get out of the building at the end of a game or event without having to step right into traffic.

In Star Plaza there are six statues celebrating the heroes of the past of the building's primary tenants, the Los Angeles Lakers and the Los Angeles Kings, and another of Oscar De La Hoya, the L.A. born boxer who over his career held title belts in six different weight classes, none of which (ironically) were won at Staples Center. Statues of Clippers players are conspicuously absent but it's really not surprising: nobody has ever done anything in a Clips uniform which is statue-worthy. For the majority of their 45 year history, the team has done almost nothing worth celebrating. Sure there have been two division titles (both in the last four years) but they've never made it beyond the second round of the playoffs. Never!

When Doc Rivers became head coach and President of Basketball Operations for the Clippers, he was irked by the Lakers banners and graphics on display during Clippers home games. After all, he thought, people were coming to see the Clippers, not their more successful co-tenant at Staples, so why can't the building look like a Clippers home game with no trace of Lakers stuff around? Good question. And his thought worked. Enter the building during a Clips home game and you will indeed see no purple and gold hanging anywhere for people to see.

But they don't take down the statues outside the building during a Clippers home game. So I'm going to do something that would likely irk Doc Rivers if he ever read this little blog and that's pay some attention to the Lakers, even though I was there to see the Clippers. Sort of. They really just happened to be playing my team that day.

By all reckoning, the Los Angeles Lakers are true NBA royalty. They are one of the original 11 teams which started in the league in 1946 (albeit in Minneapolis) and they have won more NBA titles (16) than any other team except for the Boston Celtics (who have won 17). They have far and away the most NBA Finals appearances of any team, with 15 losses to go with their 16 titles, a combined 31 Finals appearances. They have also been remarkably consistent, winning titles in every decade the NBA has existed except for two: the 1960s and the 1990s. Admittedly, four of their 16 titles came while the team was in Minneapolis.

It should come as no surprise then that some of the NBA's best players ever have starred with the Lakers over their 31 Finals appearances. All told, the Lakers have retired nine numbers. Nobody will ever wear 13, 22, 25, 32, 33, 34, 42, 44 or 52 for that franchise ever again, unless someone pulls a Bruce Bowen and lets the team un-retire his number. The Lakers decided to make three of those retired jerseys into statues. Here's who you will find outside of Staples if you visit.

Jerry West

1960-1974, NBA Champion 1972, Number 44

Of all the players in the history of the Lakers, Jerry West is perhaps the most tragic. He was drafted by the Lakers in 1960, just one season removed from their last championship in Minneapolis. In West's second season, the Lakers (now in Los Angeles) were back in the NBA Finals facing the Boston Celtics. The Lakers lost to the Cs, as they would the next five times they made the Finals with West on their roster. When they finally made the Finals facing someone other than the Celtics in 1970, they lost to the New York Knicks. Ten seasons in the NBA with seven Finals appearances and no ring. Although he did win NBA Finals MVP in a losing effort in 1969.

After a year away from the Finals in 1971, West's time would finally come, again versus the New York Knicks, a 4-2 victory to secure the 1972 NBA Championship. It was West's first and only title; he would lose his only other shot in 1973 (again to the Knicks).

West hasn't done so bad for himself following his playing days. He stayed on with the Lakers after he retired in the front office and secured six additional titles with the club as an executive. He also managed to grab another ring last year as general manager of the Golden State Warriors in addition to making the NBA's 50th Anniversary Team and being inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame. The NBA also designed their logo based on his silhouette. Not bad at all.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1975-1989, NBA Champion 1971*, 1980, 1982, 1985, 1987 and 1988, Number 33

The season following Jerry West's retirement, the Lakers missed the playoffs for the first time since the 1959-1960 season, the year before West's rookie year. But the Lakers were in luck. The Milwaukee Bucks' Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who in his first six seasons in Milwaukee had walked off with three MVP awards and the 1971 NBA Championship, was sick of life in the midwest and demanded the Bucks trade him to either the New York Knicks or the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers won out.

Kareem turned out to not be an instant cure all for the Lakers. In his first season in L.A., the team failed to make the playoffs for the second straight year. But Kareem turned out to be remarkably durable over his career and anchored the Lakers' starting lineup for the next 15 years, winning five titles in Los Angeles in addition to doubling the number of MVP awards in his trophy case.

Kareem is shown in statue form outside Staples executing his famous and pretty much impossible sky hook shot. He retired in 1989 as the NBA's all-time leading scorer, a mark he holds to this day. He was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in 1995.

*With the Milwaukee Bucks.

Earvin "Magic" Johnson

1979-1991, 1995-1996, NBA Champion 1980, 1982, 1985, 1987 and 1988, Number 32

Despite having one of the premier players in the game in the late 1970s in Kareem, the Lakers could not get back to the NBA Finals in his first four seasons in Los Angeles. That changed in the 1979-1980 season when the team drafted Earvin Johnson first overall in the 1979 NBA Draft. Showtime was born.

In his first ten years in the league, Magic led the Lakers to the NBA Finals eight times, taking home the trophy in five of those seasons, including his rookie year when he sealed the deal by scoring 42 points playing center in the deciding game against the Philadelphia 76ers. He also won two MVP trophies during that span and added a third during he 1989-1990 season when the Lakers fell short of the Finals. His career was cut short when it was discovered he had contracted the HIV virus and was forced to retire.

I'm not sure what the deal with Magic's statue outside Staples is. He seems to be bursting out of the black pyramid below his feet as if he is being spit out of some sort of abstract volcano. Of all the Lakers statues outside the building, Magic is less strictly representational and more cartoon-hero like. I think I like the realism better.

Francis "Chick" Hearn

Ever heard the term "no harm, no foul"? What about "garbage time"? How about "triple double"? "Air ball"? "Slam dunk"? Well if it wasn't for Chick Hearn, you might never have heard any of these.

Chick Hearn was a true pioneer for NBA broadcasters, serving as the Lakers primary play-by-play voice from the time the team relocated to Los Angeles in 1960 until he left the air in December 2001. That's more than 41 years doing the same job night in and night out. Starting on November 20, 1965, Chick broadcast 3,338 consecutive Laker games. I know this was his job but think about how much dedication and luck plays into that streak. I've been a Wizards season ticket holder for almost 16 years now and I've only made it to every home game one of those seasons. Something always gets in the way whether it's sickness or something in life. Showing up for 35 or so consecutive years at home and on the road is super impressive.

Chick was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame as a broadcaster in 2003. He was the first to receive such an honor. Chick's statue in Star Plaza features a guest chair, which I had to sit in and have my picture taken. From the picture at the top of this post, he's clearly much larger than life-size in his statue form.

The Lakers statues in Star Plaza represent six of the 11 championships the team has won in its time in Los Angeles. Three of the remaining five will get some representation next year, when the team apparently will unveil a likeness of Shaquille O'Neal. I expect the final two will be picked up by a Kobe Bryant statue relatively soon thereafter.

The Lakers aren't the only team to immortalize it's past legends outside their building in statue form. Michael Jordan can be found outside the United Center in Chicago, Dominique Wilkins has a spot in the shopping mall adjoining Philips Arena in Atlanta and Karl Malone and John Stockton have statues in Utah. While I'm not holding my breath for a bronze Wes Unseld likeness outside Verizon Center, I think this is a great way to connect current fans to the team's past successes. These things have to kill the Clippers who I feel are going to be waiting a while to put one of their own in Star Plaza.

Merry Wizards-less Christmas!

When the NBA schedule was released this past August, it seemed like an affront to human decency that the Washington Wizards weren't granted a Christmas Day game. After all, the team got a spot on December 25 last year and is coming off two consecutive seasons in the second round of the NBA playoffs, one of only two such teams (along with the Los Angeles Clippers, of all teams) to make it past the first round each of the last two years. Surely this was a team on the rise and the NBA featuring the team on a national holiday would boost support among fans not already committed to the team (read: fair weather fans). Guess not!

To make matters worse for the Wizards faithful, three teams that didn't even make it to the postseason last year (the Miami Heat, the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Los Angeles Lakers) will appear on television tomorrow. What the heck is going on over at the NBA's front office up there in New York. Why the total disrespect for the Wizards? I get that the Thunder and Heat expect to return to postseason play this year with the return of injured players from last year (Chris Bosh for Miami and Kevin Durant for OKC), but the LAKERS?!?!?! This year's incarnation of the Lakers may actually end up doing worse than last year's historically bad Lakers team. The whole thing seemed like an outrage.

Well, as it turns out, two months into the regular season Wizards fans don't really have that much to be upset about. At least not in terms of not playing on Christmas, anyway. The league is not showing disrespect to the Wizards because I'm not sure they've shown they deserve any respect this year. Instead of the ascendancy of the Wiz to the top of the Southeast Division and one of the top spots in the Eastern Conference, pretty much the exact opposite has happened. The Wiz are mired in last place in the division (Miami, Atlanta, Charlotte and Orlando are battling it out for the top spot) and waaaaay down in the Conference behind a series of injuries, lackadaisical play and an abrupt backpedal on their commitment to defense. They aren't even in the playoff picture right now. It's a little bit of a disaster.

Now, lest you think I'm giving the league some credit for being right about the Wizards not being all that good through the season's first 30 games or so, think again. This is really all an accident. Sure the league put the Lakers on TV tomorrow because of Kobe Bryant and not how good they expected the team he's on to be, but I'm sure they expected the Houston Rockets to build on their Western Conference Finals appearance last season and tear up the league to start the 2015-2016 season. I'm also confident they wanted to feature a New Orleans Pelicans team on the rise fresh off their first postseason appearance as a re-named franchise behind future best player in the league Anthony Davis. Wrong on both counts. The Pels are the second worst team in the West (with a worse record even than the underperforming Wizards) and the Rockets launch this season didn't go as planned for the team or already departed head coach Kevin McHale. This stuff's all a crap shoot. 

I'm still annoyed about the Wizards not playing today, but I'm laughing at the league about the Rockets, Pelicans and of course the Lakers. I won't be glued to the screen tomorrow. I'll be able to help my mom make Christmas dinner and I won't be forced to look at those ugly ugly Christmas Day unis the league concocted this year. Although I'm still confused as to why there's a Wizards one (below) even though we aren't playing. This league will make anything as long as it stands a chance of selling and making a couple of bucks, I guess.

But I will be thankful that in an ironic twist, the league is giving LeBron James what he asked for two seasons ago: the Miami Heat playing at home on Christmas. Yep, a couple of years ago, LeBron complained about the Heat having to play on the road on December 25. It was LeBron's fourth (and as it turned out final) year in Miami and he'd played three of the four seasons there on the road on Christmas Day and he didn't feel that was right for a team that had made it to the NBA Finals the previous three years. 

So last year, the league made sure the Heat stayed home for the holidays. To make it even better, they were even so good as to make sure LeBron was in Miami when they sent his Cavaliers team down there that day. And in the continued spirit of giving, the NBA has let the Heat stay in south Florida this year for what has become an annual holiday game for that team. And LeBron, well he's on the road again. After all, who wants to be in Cleveland on Christmas. Be careful what you wish for. The Miami players are thanking you, I'm sure.

Merry Christmas, Wizards fans. The new year better bring better things for this team. Brooklyn up next on Boxing Day. Back home at VC for the Clips on Monday.

NBA Logo Rank, Part 3

Part three of my logo rank represents the halfway point of this journey. While we have seen some pretty good designs once or twice before this, I'm astonished by the overall lack of stellar designs produced for the tons upon tons of money that I am sure was paid from the teams to their graphic consultants. I'm not sure my opinion of all that is changed much by this post. Let's keep going.

18. Atlanta Hawks

Alright, Atlanta, I admit it…the Pac-Man logo (top left above) is awesome and its return to the Hawks family of logos has to be welcomed with open arms. It's slightly different than the 1970s version and looks quite honestly less like Pac-Man eating a dot than its predecessor but it's still an awesome design and conjures up memories of Dominique Wilkins battling Larry Bird in an epic 1988 playoff series. Kudos on the retro re-brand introduced earlier this year.

But what was the club thinking with the rest of these logos and these absolutely hideous colors? Yep, the Pac looks great in traditional team colors red and white, not so much in putrescent green and black which makes me think of Mr. Yuk more than Atlanta hoops. And we already know how I feel about airport codes in team branding from my rant about the Phoenix Suns in part two of this countdown; at least the Suns logo surrounding the airport code is reasonably attractive. What's the deal with this crazy wordmark? Is there some sort of subtlety that I'm missing?

Finally, I'm also not a fan of the golden snitch logo (top right). I get it's a basketball with bird wings but the truncated top of the teardrop shape is awful and it really does look like Harry Potter should be racing to grab it ahead of Draco Malfoy. Quidditch anyone?

The Hawks are 18th because of the Pac. Nothing else. Could have been way lower.

17. Toronto Raptors

If you had asked me before I started this ranking how the Toronto Raptors were likely to place among the 30 NBA teams, my answer would likely have been "not well" or something to that effect. This team has a huge image problem in my opinion, mostly due to their absolutely incomprehensible nickname. I'm still pushing for a Huskies name change.

But lo and behold when I started looking at all the current NBA logos, I found that the raptor imagery, which started out as a less cuddlier version of Barney, has mostly gone away and the Raps have focused their branding around a basketball which looks like it's either held by or has been slashed by a velociraptor. No more cartoon dinosaurs, no more logos dripping blood, no more fossil imagery and thankfully no more purple. And thumbs up to all of that.

Now, let's remember this is still just one logo repeated three times and the font is terrible and it is only in 17th place, but it's actually a decent design and it's not cluttered with inferior secondary and alternate logos. Well done, Raptors. Never thought I'd write that.

16. Utah Jazz

Put the franchise name out of your minds, folks. I know jazz doesn't belong in Utah. This is not about the name; it's about the logos. And talking about the logos is pretty simple.

I hate the Jazz primary logo on the left above. It embodies Jazz in absolutely no way whatsoever, unless you are going to make the case for the "J" being a stylized saxophone. I think the mountains are great for Utah but for me this thing is a dead loss.

The musical note "J" logo however is a freaking work of art. I love the simplicity, clarity and genius of this logo. It screams jazz and basketball at the same time and it's absolutely brilliant. The Jazz re-introducing this look a couple of years ago was a huge step in the right direction of branding this franchise. But there's still that pesky Utah disconnect.

There's so much potential here but ultimately it's about the entire collection of logos, not just one. And, yes, I can't put the franchise name out of my mind. Rename this team. PLEASE!!!

15. Los Angeles Lakers

I love tradition. I love consistency. I love simple clear designs. The Lakers have all three. Their primary logo on the left above is uncomplicated and dates back to the franchise's move to Los Angeles in 1960, albeit in slightly different tones. And in that time the Laker tradition is probably unmatched in the NBA, even by the Boston Celtics.

But graphic mediocrity had to catch up with the Lakers sooner or later and it does so at number 15. This logo is of another time, and I don't mean that as a compliment. It's a basketball with the team name in front and some movement marks on the name to give the illusion that the name is moving really fast. There's just not much here and despite its simplicity and consistency of message over the last 45 years, it's just not very inspiring.

The Lakers introduced the way clunkier and not graphically attractive at all secondary logo (above right) in 2001. While it makes their original logo look sleek and sophisticated, it doesn't help out the Lakers brand at all. Let's move on.

14. Indiana Pacers

Combine the Raptors (recycling one logo into three separate logos) and the Lakers (simplicity and tradition) and you get the Pacers. And in my countdown, they end up ahead of both. They finish ahead of the Raptors because the logo they are using is better than the logo the Raps are using; they finish ahead of the Lakers because they were wise enough to not introduce a terrible secondary logo which makes their brand worse.

The Pacers started out in American Basketball Association with an abstract "P" (for Pacers) logo made up of an arm and hand shooting a basketball. They adopted the current look in 1990 and have refused to change it since. It's a testament to how poor the NBA family of logos is overall that Indiana can finish this high in my ranking with so little imagination.

I do like the center logo above, by the way, a lot. It has a high school or collegiate look that somehow feels very appropriate for a team representing the state of Indiana. If the Pacers ever re-brand, I'd keep that one as an alternate or secondary logo for sure.

13. Milwaukee Bucks

In this offseason, there have been two teams that have undergone significant re-branding. The Clippers look like they rushed the whole thing and were rewarded with a set of logos nobody has claimed to like which got them the number 30 spot by a mile in this ranking. The other franchise was the Milwaukee Bucks, whose new set of designs is both pleasing and a HUGE upgrade over their prior look.

There are a number of things I like about the new look Bucks. First off, the green, blue and beige colors are way better than the green and burnt orange they had last year and way way better than the green and purple they had before that. I hesitate to compliment any color scheme that features beige as a primary component but this is truly a color upgrade.

The second thing I like about the new Bucks logos is the connection to the state of Wisconsin. I don't know that I've ever seen the state of Wisconsin extracted from the rest of the United States but I think it works to smartly connect the city's team to the state with two borders less than an hour's drive to two other NBA teams.

I also love the basketball imagery in the lower points of the Buck's antlers (on the left) which is re-iterated in their third logo (on the right). It almost makes the dot after the "EST" and the awkward looking "M" in that logo palatable.

There are a couple of negatives for me. First, the font is horrible, although considering the "antler" font the Bucks had before this, it's a big improvement. Finally, I can't get over the fact that their primarily logo looks like a hunter shot their mascot and mounted its head on the wall of his basement den as a trophy. Maybe I don't get the idea of a deer being ferocious. Wouldn't be the first time I've offered that opinion.

NBA Team Name Rank, Part 1

For the NBA fan, August and September are pretty much interminable: two months that just drag and drag and drag because absolutely nothing is happening. For these two months, the NBA just seemingly shuts down. Sure, there's a minor free agent signing or two and they throw us a bone by releasing the next season's schedule this month (can't wait, by the way!) but it's still super slow. So once again, I'm casting about for filler for my blog to make myself feel like I'm a credible blogger. Last year, I devoted five posts to ranking the NBA teams' mascots from 30 to 1. This year, I'm ranking team names, but in three parts, not five.

When I first moved to this country at the age of 11 in 1979, I was absolutely fascinated by American sports names. In England, where football is the one major sport (not that football; real football), team names are pretty dull. There are a lot of "United"s, "City"s and just some town or cities with no name other than the place name. Every so often you'd find a Rovers or a Rangers or an Albion. Tottenham Hotspur and Wolverhampton Wanderers were really really cool just because they were different but that's about as exotic as it got.

Naturally, when I knew we were moving to the United States, I started checking out the football situation across the pond to see which team I might become a fan of. We were moving to Connecticut so naturally I picked the Hartford Bicentennials and started thinking about my dad and I being able to go to some games (I didn't realize the Bicentennials had moved to Oakland in 1978; current information was only so available back then). But in looking into teams over in this country, I found no "United"s or "City"s. We knew about the New York Cosmos in England because they were pretty much world famous at that point. The rest of the names were just amazing: Chicago Sting, San Jose Earthquakes, Seattle Sounders and on and on.

Why were teams named these things? Stephen Merchant's character Stuart Pritchard summed it up pretty well in the Long Beach episode of the absolutely hilarious HBO series Hello Ladies.

"Every fucking American sports team's just a bloody city and some arbitrary animal stuck together. Ooh, look at me, I'm a fan of the Chicago Squids. What does it even mean?"

Good question, Pritch! As I grew older and became an American sports fan (baseball and football first, then hockey, then basketball, then not so much baseball and hockey), I started to understand that some team names were indeed just a city name and an arbitrary animal (or whatever else) stuck together. Others however, have some real meaning and some are actually really really cool. And yes, some of these are actually animals.

So anyway, without further preamble, here are my bottom ten team names in the NBA. You'll have to wait a few days on the next ten, then a few more after that for the top ten. Here goes!

Category One: Stupidest Team Name Ever

Some names just don't work at all because they are just stupid.

30. Toronto Raptors

The genesis of the Raptors' name, which is hands down the worst in the NBA and possibly the worst name in the history of sports names, is as plain and as simple as the folks in Toronto swiping it from the Jurassic Park movie, which was the biggest box office hit the year prior to the franchise's name being announced. There are two primary reasons why the Raptors name is so bad. First, there is absolutely no relevance to the city of Toronto whatsoever. I mean not even millions of years ago; velociraptors have only been found in Mongolia to date. Secondly, as a general rule, don't name your team after a hit action movie. I realize the special effects in that movie were absolutely the bomb in 1993, but they do the same things and better in commercials these days. What if the team had been founded after the transformers movie was released? Think about it. The city of Toronto had a team called the Huskies in the old BAA. Go back to that one, please!

Category Two: Once Relevant But Now Just Misguided

I love relevant nicknames. But sometimes, franchises relocate and they just need to go ahead and bite the bullet and change their names. Otherwise there's a chance of looking pretty dumb in the future.

Bourbon Street, New Orleans, September 2012

29. Utah Jazz

I love the Jazz uniforms, logo and name. Absolutely love them all! I think the analogy of five players improvising on the basketball court around a series of set plays is the perfect reflection of Jazz musicians improvising around a rhythm structure and I love it as a basketball team name. I think it's inventive and original. In fact, I love almost everything about the Jazz concept as a basketball team except one thing: the team is in Utah! The name was perfect in New Orleans where the team started. It just ain't in Utah and there's no two ways about it. Change the name, folks, and feel lucky that the Raptors exist.

28. Los Angeles Lakers

When I look at a map of the city of Los Angeles, I see a few lakes. And I mean a few: four or five maybe. The biggest lake to me seems to be Silver Lake. Zooming out on Google Maps doesn't help; I still don't see a ton of lakes. What gives? Well, the Lakers started life in Minneapolis. When I switch to a map of Minneapolis, I see a lot of lakes and they are big relative to the total city area. When I zoom out (again, on Google Maps), I see a ton more. The Lakers of course were named after Minnesota's state nickname "Land of 1,000 Lakes". That name works in Minnesota, like really well. Not so much in L.A. So I know nobody really wants to hear this, but the Lakers need to change their name. Despite all the history and championships, the name sucks. Do the right thing!

27. Los Angeles Clippers

The Los Angeles Clippers started life in the NBA in 1970 as the Buffalo Braves. In 1978, they moved to San Diego and (smartly) changed their nickname to the Clippers, after the clipper ships common in San Diego's harbor. Great choice. Location specific and unique. Six years later they moved to Los Angeles to become (until recently) the red-headed stepchild to the Lakers. Los Angeles is still on the coast of California, right? So we can just keep the name, right? Well maybe not. Although they did. The port of Los Angeles is not famous for clipper ships. More like cargo ships. Oh well, at least their bad name will always be better than the Lakers' bad name.

26. Memphis Grizzlies

The Grizzlies franchise was founded in Vancouver in 1995 and remained there until 2001 when they moved to Memphis. In 2008, the United States Geology Survey published the results of a six year study  called the Northern Divide Grizzly Bear project which studied the historic and current range of the grizzly bear. Their published study includes the above map. Vancouver is located in the Canadian Province of British Columbia (the area above the upper left of the United States for those of you challenged when it comes to Canadian geography); notice the current grizzly bear territory almost completely covers British Columbia. Now look at Tennessee, which is entirely white. The Grizzlies missed an opportunity to change their names when they moved, although it's not too late. Just don't go back to the Tams. The Grizzlies are the best of the four no longer relevant team names because I'd be afraid meeting a grizzly bear. I'm not afraid of lakes, jazz or clipper ships.

Category Three: Prey

Animal based team names are supposed to instill a certain amount of fear in opponents. In other sports, team names such as the Bears, Tigers, Lions and Sharks do the trick for me. This one doesn't.

25. Milwaukee Bucks

The Milwaukee Bucks name (like some other NBA team nicknames) was selected based on an open entry contest when the team joined the NBA in 1968. The Bucks name, suggested by R.D. Trebilcox of Whitefish Bay won the hearts of the folks deciding which name would be adopted by the team because it represented the fish and game indigenous to the state of Wisconsin. Here's my problem. While I don't want to be staring down a full grown male deer (on my way to work one day I saw one running through Washington Circle en route to who knows where down K Street), bucks are not ferocious hunters. In fact, they are pretty much hunted by everything that might be appropriate as an NBA team nickname. Not ferocious; not good.

Category Four: Just Sort of Boring

There are a lot of NBA franchises with team names which are completely irrelevant to their city. Some of these work and some don't. Some are just boring and generic and could just as well be any team name in any state or city. Despite their mediocrity, these teams finish ahead of really bad names and once relevant names because they just don't suck as much as those other names.

24. Brooklyn Nets

So the name of this franchise refers to the string that hangs below the rim that the basketball goes through when a team scores a bucket. It's a piece of sports equipment and is almost that exciting. The team may as well be names the rims, the backboards, the balls or the courts. None of those is substantially worse than Nets. According to Julius Erving's autobiography (some very light post new year reading for me this year), the name was chosen as much because it rhymed with the Mets and Jets as any other reason. Picking names because they rhyme with other local teams doesn't cut it as a strategy for me. It's boring!

Ummm…yeah. Fearsome!

23. Cleveland Cavaliers

Just like the Milwaukee Bucks, the Cleveland Cavaliers let the public have a hand in picking their team name. This is always a risky proposition, and by no means the last time we will see this strategy for naming a franchise in this three part analysis. In Cleveland's case, the local newspaper, the Plain-Dealer, held a contest to name the newly awarded basketball franchise. Obviously Cavaliers won. Contest winner Jerry Tomko summed his suggestion for the nickname up as "(Cavaliers) represent a group of daring, fearless men, whose life's pact was never surrender, no matter what the odds." Much like the group in the photo above, I imagine. Cavaliers isn't a bad name I guess. It's just non-specific and a little blah. Therefore it finishes in the bottom half of the boring group because well, I just don't like the Cavs and never will.

22. Golden State Warriors

The Golden State Warriors started out in Philadelphia in 1946 (the first year the NBA operated) and moved to San Francisco in 1962 but based on their name, they could have come from anywhere it's just so non-specific. Originally, the Warriors nickname was accompanied by a logo featuring a native American attired in shorts only with a feather in his hair dribbling a basketball. The Warriors have mercifully moved away from this imagery, although the San Francisco Warriors logo did feature a headdress. The latest warrior depiction from the franchise was some sort of muscled futuristic blue guy but the team killed that a couple of years ago and adopted imagery that reflects their city, not their nickname. I guess Warriors is a little fearsome so they finish in the top half of the boring category.

21. Atlanta Hawks

Like the Warriors, the Hawks started out life as a native American moniker. The team started their NBA life in the league's inaugural season as the Tri-Cities Blackhawks. The Tri-Cities in this case were Moline and Rock Island, Illinois and Davenport, Iowa. The Blackhawks were named (as were the NHL's Chicago Blackhawks) after the Sac native American tribe leader Black Hawk (1767-1838). The Sac moved around before being constrained to any one spot by the United States government but they always stayed around the Great Lakes area. In 1951 the franchise shortened their name when they moved to Milwaukee to just simply Hawks. As a team name, it's not bad. Hawks are predators and the team deserves some props for renaming the team, although the Blackhawk name would have still worked in Milwaukee. Nonetheless, there's a boring factor and Atlanta finishes out my bottom ten.