Where's Our Stuff?

So the NBA season is resuming July 30 in Orlando. With the Wizards by the way. And maybe no Kyrie Irving. Maybe. And it goes until when? October? Then the next season starts in December? When's that one going to end? Does it go until August of next year? Or is it a shorter schedule? Or compressed so we get tons of back to backs and three games in four nights type things? Will the players union stand for that? Will fans even be allowed in the buildings? Do we have to say see you in October 2021 to our favorite teams? 

So many questions, right? But I have to say the biggest one I have out there is "Where's our stuff?" Not trying to be greedy. Just stay with me here a minute or so. This one's not that long.

So the 2019-2020 season from a fans attending game scenario is done. But what about the free stuff the team had planned to hand out at the games that were cancelled? What happens to all that stuff? And most specifically, what happens to all the bobbleheads??????

So I get there's a ton of irony for me personally here. I've been begging and pleading with the Wizards to go above and beyond the one bobblehead they give away each year and they finally relent and give in and follow other great bobblehead-distributing franchises and then all the games with the bobbleheads have been cancelled? What are they going to do with all those things? What happens to the stash? And why can't loyal season ticket holders get a hold of them?

Before we go further, maybe we need to recap exactly what we fans are missing here. 

• Sunday, March 15 (vs. OKC): Beer Stein
• Saturday, March 21 (vs. Milwaukee): Glow-In-The-Dark Latvian Laser Bertans Socks
• Wednesday, March 25 (vs. Phoenix): Rui Hachimura Bobblehead
• Saturday, March 28 (vs. LAL): John Wall Phone Wallet
• Friday, April 3 (vs. Philadelphia): Black Panther Inspired Bradley Beal Bobblehead
• Wednesday, April 15 (vs. Indiana): Thomas Bryant Bobblehead

Now admittedly, I'm not super enthusiastic about all these giveaways. My phone probably doesn't fit in the John Wall phone wallet and as much as I love the idea of some glow-in-the-dark Davis Bertans socks, I'm not sure they are an essential fashion accessory for me. I still have my Sato socks from last year and I've never ever worn those things.

But a beer stein? And three bobbleheads? Come on...fans have got to be wondering what happens to those goodies, right? Right? RIGHT??

What corner of Capital One Arena is filled with 10,000 Beal and Rui bobbleheads? I'm guessing the same corner of the building that has those 20,000+ Thomas Bryant bobbleheads. I'm an architect and I've never met a client that didn't have enough storage space; they are always asking for more when we are designing their buildings. How about liquidating that inventory by allowing loyal fans to assume possession of all that merch and getting back a ton of closet space. I mean we'd be doing the team a favor.

The cancellation of the NBA season (and all sports for that matter) has been a total bummer. I mean if there's one thing we could have used in a time when those of us fortunate enough to be able to stay at home and work have essentially quarantined ourselves, it would be a team to root for, no matter how hopeful or hopeless the cause might have been. This truncated season was my 20th as a Wizards season ticket holder. I missed the end of the season and my 20th anniversary milestone reward. But most of all, I  miss having a brand new Rui Hachimura, Bradley Beal Black Panther and Thomas Bryant bobblehead securely nestled within my bobblehead collection. After 20 years and many many seasons begging and pleading for more bobbleheads, why can't we just get a package from the Wizards next week with all three of these things?

So here's my proposal to Ted Leonsis: get on a Zoom call this week and get someone or someones (with mask(s) or other sort of face protection of course) down to Cap One and start sending these giveaways out to season ticket holders to reward them for their years and years of loyalty. It's just the right thing to do. Please. Do it. For the fans. Three bobbleheads and one stein per season ticket holder. Throw the socks and the phone wallet in there too if you feel like it. But the stein and the bobbles please.

So for those of you really paying attention, I know I have not addressed the issue of the Isaiah Thomas bobbleheads, which we know exist since IT posted one on his Twitter feed and it's the cover photo of this blog post. If Ted actually reads this thing...come on, man...let us have that one too. Please?

Whose Signature Is That?

Last week I wrote my second to last Wizards blog post of the 2018-2019 season. Just like last year, I'm taking the summer off, although I will likely blog about the schedule when it's released rather that in September like I did last year. For now, I'm bullish on this coming season after what I see as a positive draft. Since my draft optimism stems mostly from the fact that the Wizards actually acknowledged that drafting in the second round is a good thing, there's tons of room for my euphoria to fully deflate before opening night. And it will. Pretty much can guarantee that free agency will do that.

Last week's blog post concerned the Sixth Man Referral program offered by the Wizards, a rewards benefit for current season ticket holders to refer new season ticket holders to the team. One of the gifts I received for my referral was a Wizards team autographed basketball, which now sits in the back of my closet on display surrounded by pictures of family, various power cords for phones and things and my bottles of prescription drugs (hey, I'm old and my diet hasn't been that healthy earlier in life!). I graded this reward as a C- for a couple of reasons. First, there are only 11 signatures on the thing. I know the Wizards tried to keep as few people on the team to avoid sniffing any sort of luxury tax but I don't believe you can carry fewer than 13 on a team so where are the other three? Second, some of these signatures are completely unintelligible. 

I'm hoping one of the half dozen or so people who occasionally read this blog can help me identify some of these. Here goes...let's start with the ones I can figure out before we move to those I need help with.

So this one is clearly Dwight Howard. It's a little lazy; just a large D with a 21. I guess these guys do have a lot of stuff to sign. Economizing is good.

Next up: Thomas Bryant. Very obvious T Bryant going on here with his #13 after it. Well done!

Then the rookie Troy Brown. Less legible than Thomas Bryant (the other TB) but there's clearly a T and B and his number 6 is fully understood.

Working our way down the ball...Kelly Oubre is the next one I find. I love Kelly's signature. Very well thought out and ready for use as a branding label (I would expect nothing else from this guy): a KO with the 12 inside the O. Good stuff!

On the same panel of the ball is Bradley Beal. Brad's signature has been the same since he got drafted. It's a little messy here so maybe I got the end of Brad's signing session but it's clearly "B Beal 3".

Now I need some help.

On the bottom of the ball, I have a clear Jason Smith autograph. Jason's helping me out immensely with a clear 14 next to his signature. I'm stumped on the other one. Assuming I'm looking at the beginning of last season (Jason Smith was traded mid-season so I think that's a good assumption) and I'm throwing away guys in training camp who didn't make the squad (not necessarily a good assumption), then I'm looking at John Wall, Otto Porter, Jeff Green, Tomas Satoransky, Markieff Morris, Austin Rivers,  Ian Mahinmi, Chasson Randle, Devin Robinson and Jordan McRae as possibilities. I cannot make the squiggle next to Jason Smith's name into any of these.

Next three...I got nothing here either. Maybe the one in the middle of these three is Tomas Satoransky? I can't begin to even explain which way up the other two signatures go.

Last one. I have no freaking clue. I looks like it's partially cut off, like whoever was signing was holding a piece of paper over the panel when they were writing and some of the signature ended up on the paper.

I'd appreciate any help. Also, if anyone out there wants this thing let me know. I own about 10 or 12 basketballs signed by various current and former Wizards. This one's not likely to make it to next season. Hopefully I will. Have a good summer everyone. Let's hope somehow Tommy Sheppard can make gold out of lead this free agency period.