The teams I love the most stink. I mean really stink. Like really bad. I know I've covered this subject on this blog in the past but this fall seems like an appropriate time to re-whine on the subject.
Before I go into full whinge mode, I should point out that this year's actually been a pretty good year, sports-wise. The Mystics are WNBA champions. England won the Cricket World Cup and finished runners-up in the Rugby World Cup. Tottenham finished second in the UEFA Champions League final (before totally crashing this season). And the Nationals just won the World Series. Not bad, right?
But the two teams I really love (those being the New York Jets and the Washington Wizards and I do mean like really really love) are now both 2-7 and the next six or so months of any hope for my teams winning anything (like even having a winning record) are gone. Already. Damn this stinks. I'm looking forward to next September when things might get better. Might! But probably not.
I've read a lot of tweets this year about how this year's Wizards team is going to be a lot of fun to watch. And on the surface of things, I might agree. I mean it's kind of liberating watching a team with nothing to lose with a ton of upside and see what develops. But two things cut against that: (1) I'm paying $8K or so for the privilege of watching this fun development and (2) they keep losing. Now I get that it's only nine games in so far but its started already. And it's about to be not fun. Call me impatient. 19 years of non-achievement as a season ticket holder will do that to a person.
How bad have the Wizards been in my 19 years? Really bad. Let's take a look at some numbers regular season and playoffs to get a sense of how bad I've had it. Spoiler alert: it ain't looking much better this year I don't think.
Let's start with overall record.
Fewest Average Wins Per Season (2000-2019)
1. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (31.5)
2. Minnesota Timberwolves (33.3)
3. New York Knicks (33.9)
4. Washington Wizards (34.5)
5. Philadelphia 76ers (34.6)
So over the past 19 seasons, the Wizards have posted the fourth fewest wins per season in the NBA. Yeah, it's been not much fun for any of the teams in this bottom five but at least the Timberwolves grabbed the number one seed (and a spot in the Conference Finals) in the West one year and the Sixers actually made the NBA Finals in 2001. I'd take either of those highs over the Wizards. Most wins per season by the way over this period: San Antonio (58.1) / Dallas (51.2) / Houston (45.6).
Most Sub-20 Win Seasons
1. (tie) Cleveland Cavaliers (3)
1. (tie) Minnesota Timberwolves (3)
1. (tie) Philadelphia 76ers (3)
4. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (2)*
5. (tie) New York Knicks (2)
5. (tie) Washington Wizards (2)
* In 15 seasons.
Does this list look familiar? Don't worry, this will happen more than once in this post. It should come as no surprise that the teams with the fewest average wins per season also log the most dismal seasons. The one addition? The Cleveland Cavaliers, who have also made it to five Finals with one championship over that same span. Give me a title in exchange for futility every year the rest of my life. 12 teams, by the way, have had no sub-20 win seasons since I first bought season tickets. Definitely can't relate.
This list does include the strike shortened season of 2011-2012 and yes, I'm categorizing teams by franchise, not by city, in this post. That means the old Charlotte Hornets are counted against the current New Orleans Pelicans franchise. Not a huge needle mover because the Pels show up later in this post. Just explaining.
Fewest 50 Win Seasons
1. Washington Wizards (0)
2. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (0)*
3. (tie) Charlotte Hornets / New Orleans / Oklahoma City Hornets / New Orleans Pelicans (1)
3. (tie) New Jersey Nets / Brooklyn Nets (1)
3. (tie) New York Knicks (1)
* In 15 Seasons.
I swear I'm not making up these categories to make the Wizards look bad. They manage to do that on their own. It's not going to be good to be on any of these lists, let alone make most or all of them. I see 50 wins as a mark of a quality year. The Wiz have none of them, not a single one in 19 seasons (this will be 20). They edge the current Hornets in this category because that team has only been around for the last 15 seasons. The Nets are to this list as the Cavaliers are to the last one. Two NBA Finals appearances in the early 2000s. The most 50 win seasons? San Antonio (17) / Dallas (12) / Houston (9). San Antonio even had one in the 2011-12 season when each team only played 66 games.
Fewest Division Titles
1. Vancouver / Memphis Grizzlies (0)
2. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (0)*
3. (tie) Atlanta Hawks (1)
3. (tie) Charlotte Hornets / New Orleans / Oklahoma City Hornets / New Orleans Pelicans (1)
3. (tie) Denver Nuggets (1)
3. (tie) New York Knicks (1)
3. (tie) Philadelphia 76ers (1)
3. (tie) Washington Wizards (1)
* In 15 seasons.
The fact that the Grizzlies and current Hornets franchises haven't won any division titles since I first signed up for this Wizards journey I'm on makes me feel no better about the Wizards solitary Southeast Division crown. Nor does the fact that five other teams have finished atop their own divisions just once. There are only five teams in the Southeast Division and it's been that way for 15 years. The law of averages says each team should have at least three at this point, right? Doesn't work that way, I know. There are four franchises that have won seven or more over the last 19 years. San Antonio has 12 followed by Miami with nine and the Lakers and Celtics with seven apiece.
Feeling bad about the Wizards' regular season campaigns? Get ready for the playoffs. It's actually better than the regular season. Mostly.
Fewest Playoff Appearances
1. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (2)
2. (tie) Minnesota Timberwolves (5)
2. (tie) New York Knicks (5)
2. (tie) Sacramento Kings (5)
5. Los Angeles Clippers (7)
Finally a futility list in this post that the Wizards do NOT appear on. If I had gone six deep, they would have. The Wizards have made the playoffs eight times in the 19 seasons I've been a season ticket holder. The Kings are a bit of surprise to me on this list since they were such a good team when I first became a season ticket holder. There have been some long and lean years since Webber / Divac / Williams / Bibby / Turkoglu graced the court for Sacto. Who has the most playoff appearances between 2001 and 2019? Well the Spurs of course with a perfect 19. Right behind them: Dallas (16) and Boston (15).
Fewest Playoff Wins / Year
1. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (0.2)
2. New York Knicks (0.5)
3. Minnesota Timberwolves (0.7)
4. Sacramento Kings (1.2)
5. (tie) Denver Nuggets (1.5)
5. (tie) Portland Trail Blazers (1.5)
Once again, the Wizards miss the list, although once again only just. The Nuggets and Blazers have exactly one fewer postseason victory than the Wizards. This list is average playoff wins per season, not average playoff wins per postseason appearance. I'm shocked by Denver and Portland on this list. I would have thought (without thinking too hard) that those Denver teams with Carmelo Anthony would have had more postseason success. Although since both Denver and the Knicks are on this list...maybe not. Most wins per year? Do I even need to tell you it's San Antonio? 7.9 wins average. Lakers are next with 5.7 then Miami at 5.4. Think there's not a lot of difference between number 3 at 5.4 and number 25 at 1.5? You're wrong. There is.
Fewest Playoff Series Wins
1. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (0)
2. New York Knicks (1)
3. Minnesota Timberwolves (2)
4. Denver Nuggets (3).
5. (tie) Los Angeles Clippers (4)
5. (tie) Vancouver / Memphis Grizzlies (4)
5. (tie) Milwaukee Bucks (4)
5. (tie) Charlotte Hornets / New Orleans / Oklahoma City Hornets / New Orleans Pelicans (4)
5. (tie) Portland Trail Blazers (4)
5. (tie) Sacramento Kings (4)
5. (tie) Washington Wizards (4)
If you need any proof that the same teams dominate the postseason every year, this is the list. And yes, the Wizards are back on the list here. The newcomer on this list is the Bucks who have just four playoff series victories in 19 years: two in 2001 en route to the Eastern Conference Finals and a loss to the 76ers and two last year when they lost in the Conference Finals to Toronto. A whole lot of nothing in between. The Spurs, by the way, have two fewer playoff series wins (32) than all 11 teams listed above. Lakers are second with 25 and Miami has 22.
Fewest Conference Finals Appearances
1. (tie) Los Angeles Clippers (0)
1. (tie) Charlotte Hornets / New Orleans / Oklahoma City Hornets / New Orleans Pelicans (0)
1. (tie) New York Knicks (0)
1. (tie) Washington Wizards (0)
5. Charlotte Bobcats / Hornets (0)*
* In 15 seasons.
This list is it. If there's a more chilling indictment of lack of success in the NBA over the past almost two decades, this is it. There are only five teams which have failed to make it to a conference finals. The Bob-nets get a bit of pass here because they've only had 15 tries at making it that far in the playoffs. With zero playoff series victories and no superstar talent, I don't think those extra four chance will mean much. By then, these other four teams will have had 23 cracks at it and they won't have made it either. No surprise here but San Antonio leads the good end of the category with nine. Five other teams including Detroit and Cleveland are second with six each.
Where does all this leave me? Well for a start, I feel for all the fans in Charlotte. That team is actually the worst. I mean hands down no dispute the worst in the NBA. After that is it the Wizards? I could make a case that it is based on the lack of 50 win seasons and conference finals appearances. If they are not second, they can't be any higher than fourth if you consider the Knicks and Timberwolves worse. There you go. Bottom four for sure. Make an argument against. I'd love to debate. I don't see you winning though.
My season tickets are in Row E of Section 109. This season I'm sitting a couple of rows and the width of an aisle away from seats in 110 earmarked for the Wizards new power structure, namely John Thompson III and Sashi Brown, two of the components of a front office that looks nothing like the Wizards front office has ever looked like before. During Friday's game, Ted Leonsis chatted with those two just two rows from me while the miserable Cleveland Cavaliers took down my beloved Wiz at home. I would have loved his input on this post. His ownership, which at first looked so different than Abe Pollin's, has yielded no different results and I don't see anything different happening this season. Always next year, right?
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