Free Stuff! 2013-2014 Edition

Last year's Wizards promotional haul!

Every day for the past week or so I have been checking the Washington Wizards website for one very important piece of information: the 2013-2014 Wizards promotional schedule, the last missing planning tool for my fall, winter and early spring of basketball activities. Yesterday, it finally showed up. And today, I'm sharing that schedule with my loyal blog readers. Thank you, all 12 of you!

Usually, I find out the promotional schedule dates and items by grabbing one of the little fold out paper schedules they keep in special little holders at one of the Verizon Center customer service desks. But with both home preseason games happening early in the schedule this year, I was forced to wait until the schedule was posted to the website. Not my preferred way of getting at this information.

So without further ado because I know three paragraphs is a long time to wait for the good stuff, here's my guide to the 2013-2014 promotional schedule, with expert analysis about the long term significance of each item to get you worked up into a frenzy about the new season, which is at this point a mere 11 days away. I can barely contain my excitement.

Schedule Magnet (Essential)

November 1 vs. Philadelphia

The annual opening night magnetic schedule is a must have. There's no way I can exist during hoops season without this planning tool staring me in the face right next to my Elvis in gold lame suit magnet each time I open my refrigerator. I'm just not sure how I'd exist without it. I'm sure I've had one on my icebox door for the majority of the past 13 years. I can't imagine stopping now. It's a constant reminder of the joy that the Wizards bring into my life.

Nenê Bobblehead (Essential)

December 28 vs. Detroit

If there's a giveaway more essential than the schedule magnet, it's any bobblehead, no matter the player. This year it's Nenê. Not my first choice of players considering I got an awesome Nenê bobblehead as part of my annual season ticket holder gift last year but I'm always happy to add to my collection. At least it's not another John Wall bobble. In his first three years, the Wizards have given away three Wall bobbleheads so one more this year would seem just silly. Although I'd take another in honor of John's new contract if they made one with him holding bags of cash and a gold bar or two. 

Koozie (Pick it up; 50/50 chance of discarding)

February 7 vs. Cleveland

I'll say this about koozies: there have been worse giveaways at Wizards games over the years. This may actually be a keeper; it all depends on the appearance. I've never been much of a koozie user, probably because beer (which is the only bottled or canned refrigerated beverage I drink these days) doesn't stay long in its container when I'm drinking it. We'll see what it looks like. I could concede the need for a koozie on an extremely hot day or after about six beers when I start to slow down.

Team Poster (PASS!)

March 29 vs. Atlanta

Once again, the team poster gets a PASS! rating from me. I guess this is an OK giveaway for the kids, but I'm certainly not going to tape a flimsy Wizards poster on my bedroom wall or tack it to the tackboard in my office. I'll avoid being handed this at all costs.

Cooler (Useful but not essential)

April 12 vs. Milwaukee

What's with the drinking giveaways this year? Koozie AND cooler? I'm on board! If this is the same type of portable cooler I picked up at a Capitals hockey game a couple of years ago, I'm keeping this thing. The Caps cooler was just the right size to hold four 24 ounce cans of beer, perfect for a three hour plus trip up to the Meadowlands with my friend Chris for a Jets game. Hopefully this is the same size. I need one since I left my Caps one on that Jets trip when I transferred at Newark Airport. I'll hold on tighter to this one.

I think overall that's a pretty decent schedule, despite the relatively low number of games with giveaways. Ted Leonsis needs to get some more sponsors to open their wallets for fans like me. But I have to confess that there's a little disappointment at the lack of a Martell "My Favorite Wizard" Webster bobblehead. When we re-signed Martell to a pretty big deal in the offseason, my hopes were he'd demand his own bobblehead giveaway as part of that contract. I thought I'd confirmed that suspicion in our first preseason game against the Brooklyn Nets when the team advertised a free Martell Webster bobblehead with each Wizards Kid Club membership. But I'm denied on this gift. Gotta figure out how I get my hands on one of those...

Despite the lack of Webster bobbleheads on the schedule, hopefully you will circle the season opener, December 28 and April 12 on your calendars and make sure you have tickets in hand when the doors open at Verizon Center so you don't miss out on this vital Wizards fan loot. Remember, promotional items are not for sale, despite the generally lower quality of craftsmanship inherent in these items, so if you aren't at the doors early, your opportunity to snag one of these things is likely gone. Don't say I didn't warn you.