NBA Mascot Rank, Part 3

This post is the third part of my five part series ranking the mascots of all 30 NBA teams on three criteria: name, relevance and appearance. So far I've covered the teams with no mascots and those with irrelevant or puzzling mascots, in addition to some honorable mentions. This halfway point post covers those that are clearly relevant to either their team nicknames or cities but which somehow have one or more fatal flaws. By the end of this post I think we start to see something approaching mascot brilliance, with one clearly clever missed opportunity clouded by the mascot's own alter ego. Or something like that. This time we start north of the border.

18: The Raptor, Toronto Raptors

One of my favorite quotes from the movie Jurassic Park comes from Jeff Goldblum's character Dr. Ian Malcolm. When discovering exactly the extent to which dinosaurs had been created at Jurassic Park, Malcolm famously tells John Hammond, the park's creator, "your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should." I often feel this way about the Toronto Raptors nickname. I realize that dino-fever was sweeping the nation when the Raptors joined the NBA in the mid-1990s but come on...there's no better nickname you can think of for your team? They really were so excited that they could pick the Raptors as their name that they didn't stop to think about whether they should.

OK, so I know I'm ranting about the name of the team and not addressing the mascot but for me, there are a number of teams whose names so handicap their mascots that the things really have no chance whatsoever of succeeding. Case no. 1: The Raptor. I get this mascot. It's a dinosaur and the franchise is named after a dinosaur. Admittedly, this mascot is a little happier (think Barney) than the pack hunting, door opening villain raptors in Jurassic Park so it doesn't really strike fear into the hearts of men or opponents any more than the Raptors team ever has. And it looks OK. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the appearance of the costume. But the name...ouch! The Raptor? Didn't spend any time thinking that one up did they? Time for a new name and mascot.

17: Rufus T. Lynx, Charlotte Bobcats

Speaking of teams with awful nicknames, the Charlotte Bobcats are the NBA's newest franchise and they didn't manage to come up with a name much better than the Raptors. They joined the league in 2004 after the city's former team, the Hornets, fled for New Orleans to try to succeed where the Jazz could not. The effort to name the latest incarnation of an NBA team in North Carolina included polling local residents on three names: the Bobcats, Dragons and Flight. The team's owner, Bob Johnson, ignored the results of the poll (picking Flight) and chose the Bobcats, fueling speculation that he picked the name so the franchise would be named after him. I'm on board with this speculation 100% and for the last decade, the city of Charlotte has been stuck with a franchise name slightly worse than the performance of the team itself.

So just like the Raptor, the Bobcats' mascot, Rufus T. Lynx, is given a handicap that is almost impossible to overcome. Admittedly, the nickname's not so atrocious that someone couldn't come up with a mascot that approached respectability. But then the folks running this team had to go pick orange as the team's primary color and so they are left with a bright orange cat as their mascot. So on the relevance and appearance scale, Rufus is OK; he's clearly a bobcat, even though I don't think there has ever been an orange one, not even through genetic mutation. And the name's nothing to brag about either, although not naming him "The Bobcat" gets him past The Raptor to the number 17 spot. Let's move on. It's only getting better from here, thank God.

16: Go The Gorilla, Phoenix Suns

If there's a mascot which most knowledgable NBA fans would label as an icon, it might be Go the Gorilla or the Phoenix Suns Gorilla (I confess I didn't know its name was Go until I started writing this). He was inducted into the questionably prestigious Mascot Hall of Fame in its inaugural class along with the Phillie Phanatic and the San Diego Chicken so there are at least a few folks out there who are showing the Gorilla some respect.

But I don't get it. I understand that it's difficult to come up with a Sun mascot (although the Jimmy Dean sun would be an interesting addition to any NBA halftime show in my opinion) but I don't see the connection to a gorilla. I also don't like the name or the costume. It's clearly a guy in a 1970s era gorilla suit. I think I'm influenced by outside forces and peer pressure by putting Go at number 16. I should be ashamed of myself but that's where he stays for now.

15: Grizz The Bear, Memphis Grizzlies

The Memphis Grizzlies' bear, Grizz the Bear, is the first of two consecutive bear mascots in my ranking representing franchises who desperately need to change their names. In one of these two cases, the name change would make the bear mascot more relevant; in Grizz's case, it would make him extinct.  Of all the terrible nicknames in the NBA, the Grizzlies are in my top five franchises who should change their names along with the Lakers (not relevant to L.A.), Raptors (stupid name), Bobcats (stupid name) and Jazz (love it in New Orleans, not so much in Utah). The Grizzlies' name worked great in Vancouver, where the team started out. It just does not work in Memphis.

Having said all that, there is no question that having a bear for a mascot in Memphis is relevant to the franchise's nickname. The name Grizz is weak at best but as we've already seen, there are some really dumb mascot names in the NBA (see number 18 above) and at least he's not just called The Bear (I know I'm beating this point to death). But is this thing really a bear? It looks like a cross between a pig and a character from Planet of the Apes who needs a haircut. I guess I'm giving the Grizzlies the benefit of the doubt on this one and accepting that the mascot is a bear and squeaking Grizz into the top 15. I could easily be second guessed on this one.

14: Jazz Bear, Utah Jazz

On to the next bear...

Now THIS is a real bear mascot. Other than the fact that it's riding a motorcycle (note Clutch the Rockets Bear is also riding a motorcycle in Part 2 of my countdown - curious!) we are without doubt looking at a bear here. It doesn't even need the "Bear" headband around it's noggin. I'd love to see that accessory shipped to Memphis; It would help me believe Grizz is actually a bear. For me, Jazz Bear scores high on the appearance and relevance scale because I believe (without checking here) that there are bears in Utah.

The Jazz Bear name sucks though. This poor franchise has the most irrelevant nickname in pro sports. There is absolutely no excuse for keeping the Jazz name in Utah. Why did anyone ever think it made any sense not to leave the name behind in New Orleans. Appearance is enough here to nudge Jazz Bear ahead of Grizz the Bear and into 14th place.

13:  Sir C. C. and Moondog, Cleveland Cavaliers

Other than being glued to the screen during NBA season and never missing an episode of Game Of Thrones or Boardwalk Empire, I don't watch a lot of television in my spare time. But when I do, I enjoy watching competitive cooking shows (Top Chef, The Next Iron Chef, etc.). Stay with me here just a few more sentences. Every so often in challenges on those shows, a competitor makes two or three dishes when they were charged with making only one. Inevitably, the judges on those shows evaluate that competitor not on the best of the two dishes but on both or, in some cases, the worst. I'm doing that here with the Cavaliers. And I SWEAR it's not because this team beat the Wizards back to back to back in the playoffs recently.

The Cavaliers have two mascots and for the life of me, I can't figure out who is the primary mascot. Admittedly, I've never been to a Cavs game (although I'd love to make it to Cleveland one year for a Wizards game) so my research into this topic has been shallow at best. The Cavs' first mascot is a swashbuckling knight (presumably referencing the cavaliers in King Charles I of England's cavalry) complete with sword and feathered hat shown in the team's other marketing materials; the other mascot is a dog. The cavalier, Sir C.C. (pictured at the top of this post) is terrible; he looks like he has a child's head stuck on top of a way too muscled 17th century horseman's body. Other than being a clear embodiment of the team's nickname, I'm just not on board with this mascot.

The dog (pictured immediately above) on the other hand, is freaking genius as a double entendre. I'm giving the Cavs the benefit of the doubt here and assuming it's a cavalier spaniel, although it looks nothing like a cavalier spaniel other than clearly being a dog. Animal mascots are generally more fun than people based mascots so for me, the Cavs have pulled something off here. But it only gets better. The dog's name is Moondog, which is a reference to Cleveland DJ Alan Freed (nicknamed Moondog) who was a pioneer disk jockey in the early 1950s and is supposedly the originator of the term "rock and roll." There are layers here and I love it. But because the waters are muddied, I'm putting the Cavaliers at the number 13 spot. And again, I SWEAR it's not because this team beat the Wizards back to back to back in the playoffs recently.

Well, maybe a little. :)

NBA Mascot Rank, Part 2

I know what you are thinking, Sly. I'd be pissed about the Knight too.

Last week I posted the first part of my NBA mascot rank, an all too detailed ranking of all things mascot in my favorite sports league. That countdown continues in this Part 2, which deals with mascots who are just barely making the minimum amount of effort to be a mascot or are confusingly relevant/irrelevant. We start in the northeast.

24: Lucky the Leprechaun, Boston Celtics

Of all the teams that actually have a mascot, the Celtics mascot, Lucky the Leprechaun, is the absolute worst and therefore ranks lowest of all the primary mascots in my countdown. Memo to the Celtics: dressing a guy in clothes with no mask, no fake fur or outrageous costume does not constitute a mascot. It's just a dude in a green costume and a sometimes beard.

All the tradition and pride that comes with the Celtics organization just isn't enough to compensate for this guy walking around looking for his pot of gold. He even appears in the media guide as the mascot. There's no illusion here and it's just no fun. Marginally better than having no mascot but hands down the worst primary mascot in the NBA. But not by much...

23: BrooklyKnight, Brooklyn Nets

Before the 2012-2013 NBA season, the Nets moved from New Jersey to Brooklyn in what was supposed to be some sort of glorious return to the city where they started some 40 plus years earlier as part of the now defunct ABA. As part of the move, the Nets rebranded their entire franchise, which included everything from their uniforms to their mascot.

When the team was located in New Jersey, the Nets' mascot was a silver fox, whatever that is. This has to be one of the more puzzling mascots of all time. When I think of the Nets franchise, whether it's in New Jersey or in New York, I do not think of a fox. I don't know how I would necessarily create a mascot to represent a team called the Nets, but a fox wouldn't spring to mind in any way. So when the Nets left Jersey after 35 seasons there, they understandably left Sly the Silver Fox to fend for himself in the swamps of northern New Jersey. They had to replace him with something more relevant and cool, right?

Wrong! Instead of a silver fox, the Nets' mascot last year was a knight. But not just a regular knight. The new Nets' mascot is a superhero sort of futuristic knight. Huh?? Yes, that's an appropriate reaction. Totally not relevant. I generally like what the Nets did in re-branding themselves. I think their black and white road unis are really cool (even if their homes look like some sort of upgraded junior high school gym clothes); I love the updated parquet floor; and I even think the name of their dance squad, the Brooklynettes, is really inventive. But I can't see the knight sticking around long. Brooklyn's supposed to be gritty, right? The knight's not.

22: Burnie, Miami Heat

Oh, God...really?!?! What on Earth is this thing?

How do I start to explain the Miami Heat mascot? It's an orange flame with a basketball nose and white hair? Yep, that's about it. I'm sincerely hoping the Heat got a discount for this thing. How did the advertising executives paid to come up with a mascot pitch this to the team? I can only imagine them saying what I said at the beginning of this paragraph in a very guilty sheepish way knowing that they cooked this thing up the morning after a South Beach bender in about 15 minutes. They must have gone straight back to the bar after selling this bill of goods for a celebration. At least they got a better name than the mascot itself. Burnie. Get it? It's a real name (Bernie) but also a fire reference ("Burn"-ie). Cool, right? Umm...maybe not. It's a commentary on how bad most mascots are that the Heat finish 22nd here.

21: Clutch the Rockets Bear, Houston Rockets

Clutch is the first of three consecutive mascots in my ranking that beg the question "What does that animal have to do with the city or franchise it represents?" And it's a legitimate question. I'm shaking my head here.

Clutch was invented after the Rockets won their first NBA Championship in 1994, a response to a headline in the Houston Chronicle earlier that postseason declaring Houston "Choke City" after the Rockets blew a game when up 20. So naturally after the team brought home the city's first NBA title, the impulse is to create a mascot to show those bastards over at the Chronicle, right? I get the nickname; it's not bad. But a bear? Do they even have bears in Houston?? And one that looks like this? It looks like a happier version of Ted from the movie of the same name. I don't understand it at all.

Sorry, Clutch, you may be in the now defunct Mascot Hall of Fame (a dubious distinction at best), but in my book you are good enough to finish one notch ahead of Burnie. Not doing it for me.

20: Boomer, Indiana Pacers

Next up in the animal-mascots-with-no-relevance-to-the-franchise-or-city category: Boomer the cat, the Indiana Pacers' mascot.

By all accounts, the Indiana Pacers were named either for Indiana's famous pacer horses or for the Indianapolis 500's pace car. So I'm thinking either race car or horse, right? Nope. The Pacers have a cat. OK, I admit, unlike bears in Houston, there are actually cats in Indiana. That's probably the only reason the Pacers finish ahead of the Rockets in this ranking.

But I think the Pacers really missed an opportunity for a double entendre mascot here a la the Cleveland Cavaliers mascot (just wait until next week). There was potential for something really clever here with a horse mascot. Instead, the cat misses the mark. Next!

19: Blaze the Trail Cat, Portland Trail Blazers

Another cat? Really?

The Portland Trail Blazers, in my opinion, have one of the coolest names in the NBA. The franchise is named for the settlers that came to Oregon via the Oregon Trail. Not a very obvious reference for the casual observer but what an awesome nickname.

I think the Trail Blazers were in a tough spot mascot-wise with this nickname which is probably why they finish one notch ahead of the Pacers with their non-relevant feline mascot. Much like the Nets, I have a difficult time imagining a mascot representing the team. Dressing someone up like a settler or a Conestoga wagon just doesn't seem to make any sense. They finish ahead of the Pacers here because they have a more difficult task so defaulting to a cat seems more forgivable.

But that name...I don't know. Boomer's not much better but "Blaze the Trail Cat"? Come on. The Blazers close out the bottom 40% in my ranking.

The 2013-2014 NBA Schedule

The NBA 2013-2014 schedule was released earlier today which made this Tuesday an exciting Tuesday in a month of total yawners from an NBA perspective. The schedule was first announced and dissected live at 6 p.m. on NBA TV, a not so exciting almost infomercial but something I've watched in years past. I got home a few minutes before 6 but as I don't have NBA TV (astonishing, I know) since I switched to Fios, I spent a half hour wolfing down a tuna melt and about a half a bag of Utz Salt and Vinegar potato chips (the vinegariest and therefore best salt and vinegar chips) before sitting down and poring over what I had been waiting all day to get to. I realize my restraint in waiting that 30 minutes here is remarkable. You can tell me that next time you see me.

Sadly, but true-ly, I schedule my life from November to April around the Wizards' schedule so in addition to getting into the ins and outs of how the schedule might affect the team's fortunes this year, understanding how the schedule lays out is especially important for me to plan my late fall, winter and early spring. After 13 years of being a season ticket holder, I'm an expert at reviewing an NBA team's schedule which is unfortunately a not very marketable skill. Here's a lucky seven what I get out of the schedule and what I'm already looking forward to.

1. The Next Game

For the eighth time in the last ten years, the Wizards open the season on the road, this time the day before Hallowe'en in Auburn Hills against the Detroit Pistons. Auburn Hills is a full 32 miles from Detroit, in case you care about that sort of stuff. That's the next game; the game I have metaphorically circled on my calendar. I need things in life to look forward to and what better than game one when my team is undefeated.

Following that game, the Wizards open their home season two days later on Friday, November 1 against the Philadelphia 76ers so I'll be itching to get into Verizon Center when November rolls around. I like these first two games. Neither the Pistons nor the 76ers made the playoffs last year and each team has experienced significant roster turnover this offseason. I don't want to get too optimistic here but it looks to me like we could be 2-0. OK, I know I'm being too optimistic. Talk to me about it on November 2.

2. Tons O' Friday / Saturday Games

If there's one thing I've loved about recent Wizards seasons, it's the number of Friday and Saturday home games. And let's face it, despite some great wins the last few years, the overall results of our play have not been something to love. This year is no exception. Of the Wizards 41 home games, seven are on Friday and 13 are on Saturday. That's about half of the home slate packed into two days of the week when you don't have to get up the next morning and go to work. And there's something else: Friday and Saturday games sell on the secondary market, which allows me to reduce the cost of my season ticket commitment just a little. Double bonus!

3. The First Dozen

Last year the Wizards started the season 0-12, the worst start in franchise history. Last year's first 12 games weren't all that tough on paper. There were as many home games as road games (six of each if you need that math doing for you) and only six were against teams which ended up making the playoffs. But the Wizards couldn't pull out a win, even considering two of the first 12 were against the lowly Charlotte Bobcats.

The expectation for performance in this year's first 12 games has to be better. Hell, it can't possibly get any worse. But it looks like a tougher road. Eight games are on the road including a three game swing through Oklahoma and Texas and four games are against teams expected to go deep into the playoffs (Miami, Oklahoma City and San Antonio on the road; Brooklyn at home). Of the remaining opponents, we get a potentially much improved Cleveland Cavaliers team twice and a rejuvenated Minnesota team. Things don't look good but I think we need at least five wins in our first 12. I've already given the first two games to us as wins. Let's see how we do. Again, it can't be worse than zero wins.

4. Teams We Play Three Times

Each team in the NBA plays every team in the opposite conference twice, which makes up 30 of the 82 games in the season. That leaves 52 games against the other 14 teams in the teams' own conference, which works out to four games against ten of the teams and just three against the other four.

This year, the Wizards luck out a little bit. Of the 15 teams in the Eastern Conference, most basketball experts place five of those teams squarely in the playoffs: the Miami Heat, Indiana Pacers, Chicago Bulls, Brooklyn Nets and New York Knicks. Of those five teams, the Wizards play only the Heat four times (teams have to play teams in their own division four times), meaning we get a pass on a fourth game against most of the supposed strongest teams in the East. Every game counts. We may need a W or two at the end of the year accumulated by avoiding one of these four opponents.

5. Two Weeks Off For Christmas

For me, not for the Wizards.

Every year, I face a dilemma at Christmas: stay in town and spend time watching the Wizards at Verizon Center or spend time out of time with my family. Usually the family wins or I at least split the difference by missing one game around the holidays. This year, I don't have to make that choice as the Wizards are away from home from December 15th through the 27th. Merry Christmas to me!

6. The MLK Day Game Is Back

One of the highlights of the basketball season for me is the (mostly) annual Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day matinee game. I love leaving work at noonish and heading downtown for some lunch with a beer or two followed by some hoops (and more beer) while everyone else is still at work. The MLK Day game takes place in the same cities every year but in Washington we skip one every four years due to the presidential inauguration (which was last year). This year's game is against the Philadelphia 76ers at 2 p.m. on January 20th. Can't wait!

7. Road Trips

One of the things I love more than almost anything else is traveling. I try to take at least one trip a year in the summer somewhere new to unwind and recharge and maybe a long weekend or two at other points during the year. In the last six years or so, an essential part of my travel itinerary has been taking road trips to see Wizards away games. I clearly can't plan these trips without the Wizards' schedule.

Every year I hope for a Friday or Saturday road game in Memphis or Cleveland and once again, I am disappointed by the schedule makers at the league office in New York. But there are two weekends in March that look like ideal road trips to check out the Wizards in a new city. There are Saturday games in Philadelphia on March 1 and Milwaukee the following weekend. Both trips could be accomplished without taking time off work, are relatively inexpensive and are probably against struggling teams (translation: cheaper secondary market tickets). In case those two don't sound like ideal travel destinations in March, I'm thinking cheesesteaks and beer in addition to some hoops.

So that's it. Weeks of excitement boiled down to a few paragraphs. Next significant date: September 28 when training camp opens.

NBA Mascot Rank, Part 1

August and September are boring months for the committed NBA fan. Summer League is over, all the in demand free agents are under contract and training camp has yet to begin so we're stuck in limbo for a couple of months with little to occupy our time. Last year we were fortunate to have the Olympics to tide us over for the month of August. This year, there's only the WNBA. And let's face it, nobody watches those games.

So in an effort to keep myself occupied and to make myself feel good about keeping my blog going, I thought I'd take a look at the mascots in the NBA and see if any of them can measure up to the Wizards' excellent-in-every-way mascot, G Wiz. And if that's not blatant foreshadowing, I don't know what is. That curiosity has resulted in what will end up being a five post mascot-fest where I rank all the NBA mascots (and more) from 30 to 1. This first post deals with the concept of mascots and tallies those that don't exist or never have. Read on!

I have to confess I used to hate mascots. I saw them as unnecessary distractions for fans that were less committed than me. I cheered the University of Michigan when I was enrolled there for banning the student-created "Willy the Wolverine" mascot from Michigan Stadium. But as I've grown older, I've come to view them as part of the game experience and have actually started to have positive views of some of them. There are mascots who are genuine icons (think of baseball's Philly Phanatic or the San Diego Chicken here) but others are just downright uninspired, goofy or a complete waste of time.

Some NBA teams don't have mascots and some do. Some teams have multiple mascots or inflatable versions of their primary mascot and some teams keep switching their mascot because they can't decide what they really want. All of that makes ranking them somewhat complicated but I've managed to do it. I can tell you are already impressed. Here's how my rankings work.

When evaluating mascots, I've considered three criteria: name, relevance (either geographical or franchise nickname relevance) and appearance. Some mascots have creative names, are really relevant to their teams and look awesome. Others just don't. In my studies, I've typically only considered a team's primary mascot in my rankings with two exceptions: the Cleveland Cavaliers, because I can't figure out who their primary mascot is, and the Washington Wizards, because, well, this is a blog about my life and the Wizards. So let's get right to it. We'll start with number 30, after some honorable mentions.

Honorable Mention: Hugo T. Hornet, Charlotte Hornets

Yes, that's right...CHARLOTTE Hornets. If there's one wrong that has to be righted in the NBA's mascot world, it's that Hugo has to be restored in Carolina where he started out (this is going to occur in 2014 by the way). If the Hornets name (and consequently Hugo) still existed in the NBA, he would surely challenge for the top spot in this ranking on appearance alone, especially if he were in Charlotte where the Hornets nickname is relevant. Good thing for G Wiz this isn't being done a year later.

Hugo scores so high on relevance and appearance and those two factors more than compensate for his average name. There's no question he looks like a mascot, is clearly what he's supposed to be (a hornet) and represents the team perfectly. He's cartoony without being overly simple. There's a richness in the details here. Can't wait to see Hugo back on the court next October.

Honorable Mention: Squatch, Seattle SuperSonics

If there's a tragedy in the NBA, it's that the city of Seattle does not have an NBA team. That situation could have been righted a few months ago with the sale of the Sacramento Kings to a Seattle based investment group although that would have just transferred the NBA-less tragedy from the Emerald City down to California's capital. When the team that would become the Oklahoma City Thunder left Seattle in 2008, they left the SuperSonics name, the uniforms and the 1979 NBA Championship trophy behind for the city of Seattle. 

They also left behind the Sonics excellent mascot, Squatch, who like Hugo above, would surely be a top 10 mascot in this ranking. Squatch (short for Sasquatch, duh...) has an awesome name and he really couldn't exist anywhere else except for the Pacific northwest (I'll refrain from going into my account of how I think I saw one once in Pennsylvania; that's a story for a totally different time). He also looks just like most of us convince ourselves bigfoot looks like so he scores high in my book on name, relevance and appearance. We will likely have to wait a few more years for Squatch to re-appear. Maybe if the Bobcats/Hornets keep performing poorly enough.

Honorable Mention: Clipper Darrell, Los Angeles Clippers 

I first became aware of Clipper Darrell (real name Darrell Bailey) at NBA Summer League in probably 2008 or 2009. I was watching the Clippers play some other team (I don't remember who although I don't think it was the Wizards) and the Clips were playing miserably, just like they did pretty much every year before they drafted Blake Griffin and the NBA gifted Chris Paul for them. Between chants like "U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi" I heard this guy in blue and red yell out something to the effect of "Come on, show them how we play Clipper basketball." Based on the laughter which followed a muffled rejoinder from someone on the other side of Cox Pavilion, I believe it was pointed out to Darrell that the Clippers were actually playing Clipper basketball at the time. 

Among NBA super fans, Clipper Darrell (shown above with his now deceased Clippers car) is my hero. He's the epitome of the loyal-no-matter-how-the-team-performs fan. Five years ago, if there was a team that needed a change of fortune from their entire history, it was the Clippers and Darrell was the symbol of a fan base clinging to absolutely no hope whatsoever. And now thanks to Griffin and Paul, the Clips actually stand somewhat of a chance. They won their first division title ever last year and despite the Clippers organization trying to disassociate themselves with Darrell last season, he's stuck with it. Good for Darrell. I hope one day the fortunes of the Wizards will turn the way they have in Los Angeles. 

Now...enough honorable mentions. On to my rankings. 

30-26 (Tie): No Mascot, Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Pelicans, New York Knicks and Philadelphia 76ers

No mascot means one of two things to me, either the franchise is too iconic to stoop to having a mascot or there is just no willingness to be the least bit imaginative and create one. The Lakers and Knicks clearly fit into the former category whereas the Clippers and 76ers fall into the latter. The 76ers actually have experimented with mascots, last in the form of Hip Hop, a rabbit with absolutely no value whatsoever. Hip Hop was retired or killed or whatever about two years ago and mercifully hasn't been seen since.

Now, one could clearly take the position that having no mascot in some cases is actually better than having a terrible mascot. Maybe so, and I'd totally entertain that argument but since this is my blog, that argument doesn't work this month. Well OK, it works for one team. On to number 25...

25 (Tie): No Mascot, Golden State Warriors, and G Man, Washington Wizards

In 1997, both the Golden State Warriors and Washington Wizards rebranded themselves with new uniforms, new mascots and, in the case of the Washington franchise, a new nickname. I am totally convinced that the two organizations cheaped out on their rebrand and split the cost of the re-design because both franchises emerged with the exact same product. Their new jerseys looked remarkably similar, from the offset numbers on the front under their nickname tapering from a large W to a small S to the numbers on the back of the uniform which were the exact same custom designed font.

They also emerged from the rebrand effort with the same ugly mascot, a blue muscled dude wearing the terrible uniforms that the franchises likely split the cost of. The Warriors' mascot was named Thunder; the Wizards' mascot was named G Man. Since 1997, both franchises have rebranded themselves again, both adopting uniform designs similar to the uniforms the two franchises wore in the 1970s, when each won a title. When the Warriors rebranded themselves in 2010, they dumped Thunder. When the Wizards rebranded themselves in 2011, they unfortunately kept G Man.

The two franchises are tied for 25th best (or sixth worst if you prefer) in my rankings because for me on a mascot level, they are inextricably linked and nobody is going to be able to convince me the two franchises didn't collude and get a two for one deal on mascot design. You get what you pay for and these mascots honestly stink. I could have stuck the Warriors tied with the Clippers, Lakers, Knicks, Pelicans and Sixers but quite honestly, I think they deserve some credit for dumping a terrible mascot and so they sit above the other five franchises currently without mascots. The Wizards should follow the Warriors' lead and dump G Man.

Summer League Side Trip: Rediscovering Deschutes

In 2011, I spent two weeks driving across the United States with my friends Mike and Bryan. I had wanted to see this country from the ground for a long time so the trip was literally years in the making. Eventually, I came to view it as almost a rite of passage of being an American. I've known other people who have taken similar journeys and I think everyone I know who has made the cross country trek took a few weeks after college before starting their first real job. I waited until I was 43. Oh well!

Our trip across the continent took us on a northern route to the Midwest cities of Cleveland, Indianapolis, St. Louis and Kansas City; through the South Dakota badlands to the town of Deadwood in the Black Hills; on to Yellowstone National Park in the Rockies; and then over the Cascade Mountains to Seattle before ending up in Portland, Oregon and flying home. It was truly one of the great trips I’ve taken. We saw so much that will stick with me for the rest of my life before we likely cheated by taking a plane back home. If I ever do anything like that again, maybe I’ll fly out to Oregon and drive east to D.C. through the south.

On our way across the country, we tried to sample local craft beers in each city we visited: Great Lakes and Thirsty Dog in Cleveland; Sun King in Indianapolis; Schafly in St. Louis; Boulevard in Kansas City; Moose Drool in Yellowstone; and Pike Place Brewing in Seattle. Despite all the great beer we had on our way across the nation, the trip’s real beer destination (because every good trip needs a beer destination) was our last stop of Portland. And the best beer we had in Portland, hands down, was at the Deschutes Brewing Company Pub on Northwest 11th Avenue. It was so good that in the two nights we were in town, we visited the place both nights.

Since we left Portland two years ago, I’ve been craving Deschutes’ Hop In The Dark and Chainbreaker White IPA beers weekly (ESPECIALLY the Chainbreaker). Both beers are what I would call hybrid beers, applying a hop character to beer varieties that are not traditionally heavily hopped. They are, in my experience, unique among beer varieties and it totally works. They are both absolutely delicious.

As of right now, Deschutes distributes as far east as Illinois, which means I can’t find their beer near my home in Washington, D.C. I noticed a Deschutes bar takeover here just a day late last year and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. But Las Vegas is west of Illinois, so while I was out there for NBA Summer League I decided to look for some of what I’ve been craving these last 24 months, with the help of the Find Our Beers section of Deschutes’ website.

So all these words I’ve written essentially amount to a love note to Chainbreaker White IPA. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying, that's all. I found some in bottles at Burger Bar at Mandalay Bay a couple of hours after touchdown and had two with a make your own bison burger (American cheese, chopped jalapeños, jalapeño bacon and chipotle aioli if you must know) as soon as I sat down at the bar.

Chainbreaker was perhaps not the perfect pairing with my burger considering my choice of toppings but it was wonderful nonetheless. The beer is a Belgian style witbier which is hopped like an IPA. So where a typical witbier, which I don't drink that often, finishes a little weak and watery in my experience, leaving just a vague yeasty aftertaste, the hop finish on the Chainbreaker adds a finish which is robust and totally in contrast to the rest of the taste of the beer. I savored those two beers, knowing that I could always go back, if I had to, for more. I didn't, as it turned out, but I know where to find it. And next summer, I might just do that unless Deschutes finds a way to distribute to the east coast. I'm still looking for some more Hop In The Dark.

Summer League 2013

As of this post, NBA Summer League in Las Vegas is in full swing. It started last Friday and runs through next Monday. The Wizards first two games of the summer were this past Saturday and Sunday and I was able to get out to Vegas to see our guys play before heading back to D.C. and back to work. In case I haven't made it obvious in prior posts, let me state once again for the record that I love Summer League. Despite getting back from a European trip just five days before leaving for Vegas, there was no way I was missing this.

The Las Vegas Summer League this year is a tournament, with the championship game on the final day, and that format has completely affected the scheduling of games. In the four prior Summer Leagues I have attended, the Wizards usually completed all five of their games over a seven day span, playing three games and two games on consecutive days sandwiched around two days off. This year, every team plays three games in the first five days with anywhere from two to five additional games in tournament play. This new schedule had the Wizards playing Saturday and Sunday but not again until Tuesday, which didn't allow me to take in three games in the three night stay I typically allocate to a Vegas trip. I'm not going to get upset about missing the third game; it just is what it is. But I might change my philosophy in coming years.

One of the reasons I love Summer League is the opportunity to talk to players, coaches and general managers about the Wizards, the NBA or the game of basketball in general. Last year I was able to bend Wizards' general manager Ernie Grunfeld's ear for five minutes or so after a game and spent some time talking to Chris Singleton. Friday morning, I was sitting at the gate at National Airport when head coach Randy Wittman walked in to the boarding area. The team flew out a day earlier but Randy had another commitment so he ended up flying first class on the 9 a.m. direct flight that I happened to be on.

"Surveillance photo" of me grilling Randy Wittman about the Wizards.

I usually manage to only get a couple of words in with our head coach at Summer League over the aisle between the general admission seats and the roped off VIP coaches and players section so it was great to get a few questions in uninterrupted while we waited to board. And I actually had stuff I wanted to know this year. I always claim that this blog is not about the game of basketball (and it's not) but I have learned a thing or two about our team here and there while writing this and it definitely prepared me to talk hoops with Randy.

We didn't talk long but I managed to ask about turnovers, the Ariza/Okafor for Rashard Lewis trade, the log jam of young players in the frontcourt and Jan Vesely's free throws. Not surprisingly, turnovers drive Randy nuts and the Wizards committed a lot of them last year. He acknowledged that the team is likely to have more turnovers than other teams because of the pace the team wants to play but also credited John Wall with improvement at the end of last year which he hopes (as we all do) will carry over to this year.

I next asked about the difference that Trevor Ariza and Emeka Okafor made to the team's success last year. Randy pointed out that a lot of people panned the trade to begin with because it added another year of salary cap burden which could have been used to sign free agents but that in the end the team needed veterans who can play. I admitted I was one of the trade's detractors at the beginning of the season and I thought the use of the term "veterans who can play" was interesting. There's no question Trevor and Emeka logged heavy minutes last year and were not just in the locker room for leadership alone. We need these guys to play and contribute in a big way.

On the subject of our young big men, Randy noted that either Kevin Seraphin, Trevor Booker, Jan Vesely or Chris Singleton has to start distinguishing themselves from the pack to get heavy minutes. He also acknowledged that there is probably only room for two of those four in the future. Finally, I asked about how Vesely can improve his free throw percentage. Randy confirmed for me that it's all mental, just as we heard from A.J. Price at the end of last season, and that Ves is seeking help from a sports psychologist to improve his performance at the line. What a great start to summer league; I hadn't even left Virginia yet and already had gained the kind of inside information you get sometimes when you hang around the right spot at the right time.

2013 first round draft pick Otto Porter during a timeout in game 1.

As far as the Wizards' play while I was in Las Vegas...well, big picture-wise, we lost both games. We managed to set a Las Vegas NBA Summer League all time record for fewest points scored in a game by both teams (108 points total) in Saturday's turnover filled game against the Golden State Warriors. We followed that effort on Sunday with a close-through-three-quarters affair against the New York Knicks before collapsing in the fourth quarter to the tune of 23-12 and ultimately losing by 13 points. I realize wins and losses don't mean much in Summer League but it's nice to win just the same, especially after traveling 2,000 miles for a game or two.

This year's Summer League team featured four players who are likely to be on the Wizards' 2013-2014 opening day roster and probably nobody else considering we theoretically only have one open roster spot unless we manage to make some adjustments via trade prior to the start of the season. 2011 first round draft picks Jan Vesely and Chris Singleton were back for their second Vegas stint and were joined by this year's draft picks Otto Porter and Glen Rice, Jr., so it was an opportunity to see if Ves and Singleton would fare better against Summer League opponents than they did in the regular season in addition to getting a first look at our two rookies.

Through our first two games, Chris Singleton had another uneven Summer League. He led the team in scoring with 13 points in our 52 point game against the Warriors on 4 of 9 shooting but fared far worse against the Knicks in the second game. It appears the team is once again experimenting with Chris bringing the ball up court just like he did last summer and it's just not working. I am much more nervous with Chris handing the ball in Summer League than I am having Trevor Ariza do it in the regular season and that's saying something. If there was somewhat of a bright spot for me in Chris' first two games, it's that he knocked down some open jump shots in game one after seeming highly reluctant to take those shots at first. No doubt he's still a work in progress. Chris has an uphill climb at the three spot this year so it seems like his best chance for significant playing time is at the power forward position. Knocking down open Js will help his court time.

In contrast to last year's Summer League, I thought Jan Vesely played very well this year. He was fairly aggressive offensively, testing out some post moves with limited success, and played some good defense deflecting passes and blocking some shots inside. While he had an errant pass or two, Ves continued to show in my opinion some strong passing skills, especially when starting the fast break. I also thought he rebounded fairly effectively. It's difficult to gauge the performance of an athletic power forward in Summer League. He needs someone to facilitate his offense too much to flourish in that type of atmosphere. The couple of alley oop attempts thrown Jan's way being clearly off the mark served as a perfect example of his need for quality point guard play for his game to succeed. One really bright spot: he looked very comfortable going two-for-two from the free throw line.



Me in my Jan Vesely t shirt with Vesely himself.

The first two games of Summer League were a mixed bag for number three overall draft pick Otto Porter, who started at shooting guard. I thought his first game was far more effective than his second game. He looked comfortable on the court, unlike Bradley Beal in his first game last year, but he was certainly not an offensive force. He showed his full game on Saturday defending, rebounding, scoring and hustling for loose balls. He played some heads up ball and managed to get out and run on some fast break attempts, finishing efficiently at the rim.

Glen Rice, Jr. on the other hand showed some game. Of our four players likely to be on the roster on opening day, Glen's performance exceeded my expectations by a ton. His shooting was perhaps less than remarkable, making only five of his 15 shots over the first two games. What stood out to me though was the rest of his game, including his ability to rebound the ball and defend his opponent. He also managed the most impressive dunk of the first two days for the Wizards. Hopefully his Summer League performance can translate to the regular season, although I realize that's a lot to ask of a rookie second round draft pick. I noticed Glen looked down at his feet to make sure he was behind the three point line in each of the two games I watched. I wish he wouldn't do that; just catch and shoot in rhythm and learn where to place your feet over time. He missed both shots by the way.

This brief all too short trip to Las Vegas was my fifth Summer League excursion. If there's one thing that's obvious from this past weekend, it's that the event is clearly picking up some momentum. I realize I showed up on the first Saturday in the smaller Cox Pavilion when both the Warriors and Sacramento Kings were playing, but the place was packed. I've only seen it more full than it was Saturday afternoon once and that was during John Wall's first game three years ago. It's great to see people packing the arena even if it was kind of nice to watch hoops in a mostly empty arena in years past.

I also noticed increased visibility in talking with cab drivers. I think every cab driver I've had before this year had no idea what was happening over at the Thomas and Mack Center and getting rides back to the strip was a complete crap shoot. You just had to be there when someone else was dropped off. But this year on both days I exited the arena there was a cab line outside the arena, which is great to see. I've been back only one day and I wish I was still out there. The Wizards' final game of group play is tonight at 10 p.m. Eastern time.

Oh...by the way, the odds of the Wizards finishing with the best record in the NBA: 100 to 1. I didn't place a bet.

Finally! A cab line outside the Thomas and Mack Center.

What?!?! You Missed The NBA Draft?!?!

Yes, I missed the NBA Draft. Despite the Wizards having the third overall pick and the Draft being at the brand new Barclays Center in Brooklyn, I skipped it. I also missed the start of free agency, perhaps critical to the Wizards this year because we actually have a free agent in Martell Webster that I desperately want our team to re-sign. I skipped both of these "events" (the start of free agency isn't really an event) because sometimes, other stuff gets in the way. I know, it's hard to believe, but it's true. And from June 27 to July 7 this year, I was off exploring Bavaria, and the history, geography, food and beer it has to offer and that kept me away from the draft and the subsequent start of free agency.

But being out of the country doesn't mean a complete break from being a Wizards fanatic. I took a few shirts with me on the off chance that anyone in Germany wanted to talk Wizards hoops with me. I also followed the Draft on Twitter on my phone from the runway during our flight delay and free agency every day on my laptop and (until I left it in a bathroom) my iPad.

So, a lot happened while I was gone. I managed to stay dialed in to the Draft to the seventh pick by the Kings, so I knew before I left the U.S. that the Wizards selected Otto Porter out of Georgetown University or exactly the player we wanted. I'm glad we resisted the temptation to take Nerlens Noel despite my opinion that our biggest need for a young player is at center. After five years missing the playoffs, it seems that we needed to be more realistic about taking a solid player and not shoot for the stars taking a flyer on a freshman center coming off an ACL injury. Good restraint there.

I had to wait until 8 a.m. Germany time and our connection in Frankfurt to find out that we  traded our two second round picks to the 76ers in exchange for the draft rights to Glen Rice, Jr. meaning the organization stayed true to its word about not wanting three rookies on the roster on opening day. I saw Rice down in Hidalgo playing for the Rio Grande Valley Vipers during my February Texas road trip. While his 18 points in the game I watched didn't stand out (the Vipers scored 139), his 33 and 25 points in two NBDL Finals games sure did.  Hopefully Glen can occupy a more deluxe sort of role that Cartier Martin had on last year's team.

Hanging out at Castle Neuschwanstein in the German Alps.

Then free agency hit July 1st and the Wizards made short work of that whole process. The organization wasted no time wrapping up Martell Webster for the full mid-level exception for three years with a partial guarantee on a fourth year (pretty much exactly what I asked for by the way). Good for Martell. He deserved it with his play last year and he really wants to be in Washington. It's so refreshing to get a team first guy who can contribute and wants to be here. I'm just remembering the whole Gilbert Arenas contract negotiation/blackmail ploy. Now I can finally order my Martell Webster jersey and relegate my Chris Singleton jersey to games I watch from my upper level seats at VC. Sorry, Chris.

In addition to re-signing Martell, the Wizards picked up point guard Eric Maynor to back up John Wall and re-upped Garrett Temple on a guaranteed one year deal. I think Maynor's a good move. I appreciate what A.J. Price brought to the team last year but the Wizards get a guy in Maynor with a little more experience in the NBA and probably a little more upside. I'd have preferred someone with a little more experience here to mentor Wall but it's too late for that now, I guess. I already put it out there that I think it's worth giving Garrett Temple another shot so I'm OK with that move.

If there's a concern here, it's that the Wizards are essentially sticking with a team that won just 29 games last year. I realize that's grossly unfair to characterize it that way considering the number of injuries to, well, pretty much everyone except Emeka Okafor last year but that's really what we are doing. The organization is clearly counting on the magic (not kidding here) that our starting five (Wall, Beal, Webster, Nenê and Okafor) brought last year while on the court together and hoping they can make it happen for close to the whole season this year instead of about 25% of the season. 

The strategy also counts on Wall, Beal and now Porter getting better month over month and contributing more. Don't get me wrong, I know this is how it's supposed to work with young players. I also agree with the overall strategy and wouldn't have asked for anything else. I think this team can be a playoff team and with the offseasons that the Celtics, Bucks and Hawks have had this year, there may be room for some different teams in the top eight come next April. I'm just hoping that pressing the repeat button and having everyone together more allows the turnovers to go down and the offensive rebounding to go up.

Summer League starts for the Wizards Saturday and I plan to be in Las Vegas for the first two games. That means this coming weekend I'll be eight time zones removed from where I was this past weekend. I hope the liter glasses of beer in the two pictures in this post suggest I had a great time while in Bavaria. It took me all the way to the last full day there to get a reaction to my Wizards attire. I ran in to a "John Wall fan" from Boston at the Hofbrauhaus gift store and got a "Wizards! Yeah!" from a passerby on the Marienplatz later that same night. I'm assuming there will be more Wizards fans in Vegas. Can't wait until Saturday.

Part way through a half liter of Spezial Hell at Andechs Abbey.